Day in Pix: Chef Owen, Baby Butterball, and Practicing for Loon Mt.

1/26/10

Day we found out some news we didn't want to hear.  Since this is not my personal journal but rather an account of the kids' doings, since I know my Dad wouldn't want me to moan over him, and since I know there's nothing better for a grandfather's health than reading about his grandkids, I will continue to post about the kids, even when my mind is elsewhere!  But I will have a very special-to-me reader in mind as I do ;)

cute

Owen drags broom and dustpan into room to sweep up enormous pile of peanuts and peanut dust that he just spilled on the carpet while I'm nursing Asher...

Owen:  Mommy, Mrs. Laura in class has dis broom too!
Me:  Oh, does Mrs. Laura use it to clean up messes?
Owen:  Yep.  Those kids smash goldfish all over the floor during snack time.  They make a LOT of messes.

new favorite words:
certainly
absolutely
a while ago
a-few-minutes-last-week-ago
today-this-morning-later

Me:  Owen, what is making you feel so naughty today?
Owen:  It's Asher.

Preparing himself to vacuum the living room...
Goggles, check
Respirator mask, check
Ear muffs, check
'Mommy, I need my work gloves so I don't get spiders on my hands!'

Christmas in Texas pictures!

http://picasaweb.google.com/amyswint/20100122#

and

http://picasaweb.google.com/amyswint/2009_12_25#

This week's recall

As we drove to the school for the Brown/Coakley election...
Mommy I want to see the boat!
Well Owen, here's the place where we vote.
[We depart building after voting]
[Tantruming]  Mommy, go back, I want to go back and see that boat with that man in Massachusetts in that boat!!!

After playing with the hand lotion bottle...
Mommy!  My pants are all lotionedy.  [pause]  Yes indeed!

While making waffles for breakfast...
[I pour buttermilk into measuring cup]
[Tantruming] Nooooo!  I want to pour dat buttery milk!  Nooooo!  Dat's Owen's job!  Give me dat buttery milk!

Anytime, any day...
Mommy, I want Asher to go and be in dat different family
Mommy, can Asher go live in dat other house?
Mommy, Asher can go to dat garage.
Mommy, Daddy will take Asher to Daddy's work.
Mommy, I don't like Asher.

While repeatedly (and I mean repeatedly...perhaps obsessively-compulsively, I'm not sure) taking his new skiing goggles and helmet on and off, on and off, on and off...
Mommy, why do I have to wear dis helmet?
Well, you might fall down and I don't want you to hit your head and get hurt.
NOOOO Mommy, don't say dat!
Mommy, why do I have to wear dis helmet?
[silence from me]
Mommy, why do I have to wear dis helmet?
I don't want to have to take you to the hospital in the middle of our ski trip
NOOOO Mommy, stop talking like dat!
Mommy, why do I have to wear dis helmet?
[silence again]
Mommy, why do I have to wear dis helmet?
OWEN, YOU JUST TOLD ME NOT TO ANSWER YOU!  WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY????
Mommy, say, 'Owen, that helmet is to pwetect your head if you fall down!'
...At this moment it dawns on me that he is reciting lines from the Caillou episode in which Caillou learns to ski on a ski trip with his family.  I just didn't know my part.

After getting an unusual snack of apple jacks and chocolate milk (not mixed together by the way)...
Mommy, THANK you mommy.  I LOVE dis snack.  Dis snack is GWEAT!  Oh mommy, wow I love dis snack SOOO much.  Wow!  It tastes so YUMMY!  Thank you Mommy for dis tasty, tasty snack!

Asher

I always leave Asher out!  I realized that today.  So I should record some things about him while I'm thinking of it.

1 week shy of 6 months...
*pushing up really high on arms, and even pushes his belly up off the ground
*doesn't crawl, but when left to his own devices, he manages to move 6 feet across the room...somehow.
*LOVES to be on his tummy.  I recently figured out that sometimes he's fussy when I'm holding him because he wants to be down on his own trying to move and exploring a toy.  If that's not the complete and utter opposite of Owen!!
*Always sleeps on tum; flips right over as soon as you put him in his crib.
*Occasionally manages to flip the other way, but not often.
*FINALLY got him back to just one night feed.  Whew.  We are all sleeping better again after the holiday travel.  Schedule right now is roughly...
6-6:45am wake
7:30 nurse, then then cereal + fruit or veg
9am nap
~11am nurse
12:45pm nap (12:30 to 1 window to start nap)
~2:30 nurse, then maybe a tiny bit of food
[Occasional 4:30-5pm nap; getting rarer]
Nurse ~4:30pm, then cereal + fruit or veg 
Bed between 5 and 6pm (maybe 6:30 if a 3rd nap, but rare)
Feed ~3:30am
*doesn't like a dirty diaper...Owen never even noticed; also a big difference
*loves toys
*starts to cry/fuss preemptively when Owen draws near with malice in his eyes (sigh, sibling rivalry has begun, and it's severe)
*giggles aDORably when kissed, especially when he's in his birthday suit on the changing table
*always returns a smile
*does not like extended intense eye contact with strangers...always makes him cry!
*has had pears, apples, prunes, sw. potatoes, squash, bananas, peas, brown rice cereal.  didn't care much for the peas or plain cereal.  likes cereal mixed w/ other food.  Oh, and he's had juice...unintentionally.  I caught Owen heading toward Asher's mouth with the straw in his juice box.  I said, 'No Owen, Asher is just a baby and he can't drink juice!'  So what does Owen do of course but look me in the eye, turn around and squeeze the box so a nice jet of juice squirts right into Asher's mouth.  Time outs, whoopin's....the child is a limit-tester.  Incidentally, Asher really enjoyed the juice.
*so, so fat.  insanely chubby legs.  at least three fat rolls above the knee...if you can even call them knees.
*big, wide-open baby blues!  just like brother, always catches attention for those eyes.
*sometimes he's started to vocalize along with me when i read his bedtime story.
*likes to fall asleep in the car...Owen would never do that!!!  it's awesome; he'll even let me move him inside and stay asleep a lot of the time.  wow.
*is doing this thing right now where he slaps his hand down over and over on a surface, especially the high chair.  pretty hard!  sort of like, 'c'mon woman, bring me my dinner!'
*unlike my experience with owen at this age, i would prefer if this one staid put.  he is adorable, sweet and manageable.  i am totally smitten!  i was smitten with owen too, but much more overwhelmed.  i am still overwhelmed right now, but it is still by owen :}

addendum:  and oh yes, I nearly forgot!  Every time we get to the last page of Woof's Bedtime, Asher starts cooing and just lights up with happiness.  He LOVES the picture of the big yellow moon with a friendly face.  I find it so adorable since Owen never did anything like that.  What the heck did we manage to do to Owen?  I wonder if we had a bonding problem with all of that bad breastfeeding dynamic for months on end.  Because he just never developed normal social interactions as an infant.  Hmpf.

Appetite

For supper tonight Owen ate...
1 fillet of fried fish
1 ear of corn
1 yogurt tube
1/8 cup of blueberries
1 soft boiled egg and some bagel
some milk
half an apricot fried pie with extra glaze

Considering Owen is not a big eater, it seemed like his leg was hollow.  He was also flying high today...I mean, he was crazy.  He could not keep his attention on anything and was just being loud and silly and obnoxious all afternoon.  It was sort of a good mood, but more just weirdly energetic.  He really seemed like he was on drugs.  I could blame it on the afternoon slurpee from 7-11 that he drank on an empty stomach.  Think so?

Congratulating my Dad on his joyful retirement, and praying for his surgery tomorrow and asking for good biopsy results.  Romans 8:28

Day in pictures

 A moment of weakness.  I try, try, try to never let Asher see the TV.  I know it's not good for him.  But he is an absolute ADDICT.  Owen never cared about TV if it was occasionally on.  Asher will not look at a single thing BUT the screen if he is anywhere in the vicinity when Owen is watching a movie.  He won't nurse, he won't smile at me, just fixated completely.  I can hear the brain cells frying.  For this one moment I let the two of them look while I made a phone call I really needed to make.  It's probably not something I should have allowed myself to do, because it made my life so deliciously easy for that one moment, it is sure to have weakened my resolve.

Mmm.  Everything's in the mouth these days, especially the feet.  Loves to throw those legs up high and slam them down.

Recurring conversation of the past few days (We have lots and lots of recurring conversations around here.  I repeat back to Owen exactly what he said to me and three paraphrases of it just to see if that will be enough to make him feel 'heard' and maybe it will stop him repeating it.  No it doesn't.):

Mommy, where's my cowboy hat?

Mommy, Daddo is going to send me a cowboy shirt.

Mommy, I am going to be a cowboy.

Mommy, I am going to have a horse.

Mommy, it will be a white horse.

Mommy, I will ride that horse all around the house.

Mommy, where's my cowboy hat?

Until the funds are available for the indoor stable, I guess a stripey sweater and a Daddy will have to do!

Remember this

I'm a crazy posting fool!  Third time today.  (I had to record this immediately so I don't forget for the future.)

Owen has been a child who tests his limits since day 1.  The parenthood immersion experience has taught us that the only way we were going to have a peaceful home and orderly evenings when it came to bedtime was to have a bedtime routine, put Owen in the crib, and leave for good (whether he was happy about it or not).  Of course we assumed we would rock him to sleep, put a contented, drowsy child on the mattress, exchange a few last snuggles and watch him slip into sweet slumber.  It became clear that was not an option.

Fast forward a year or more to the recent past.  As he's gotten older, we've gotten increasingly wobbly about bedtime.  Now he can talk to us, he can tantrum, he can negotiate.  Somehow it's harder to just walk away and leave him when he's a) madder about it, b) more able to stay awake and complain longer, c) able to come up with more reasonable-sounding problems and excuses, d) so darn cute.  In about the last 6 months it sort of crept in that our goal at bedtime was to leave the room and have him be happy as we did so.  We actually had success at that pretty regularly for a while, which was a new experience for us.  Sometimes it meant that bedtime was later than scheduled because it took some extra time to deal with whatever problems or fusses were happening that night.  But overall we stayed on track and it seemed blissful.  THEN.  Somehow with the two vacations over the holidays and changes in routine, plus his increasing smarts as he heads toward three, in just the last couple of weeks bedtime got completely out of hand.  Every night is a major battle of demand, after demand, after demand.  And since we hadn't really changed our subconscious goal of trying to not have him tantrum to sleep (because we tried that, and we ended up caving), we were being manipulated and controlled in a major way and not at all sure what to do about it!!  He has been getting a bit more tired every night, a bit more bratty during the day, and it seemed to get worse every night.  And he was calling me in the middle of the night.  It just hasn't been clear what to do because a 2.75 year old doesn't really cry it out, right?  Well, here's what I came up with.  We have our routine, we firm it up being as gracious as we can in the process while staying in charge, keep it on time whether he's happy about it or not, and plop him in the crib when the time comes.  So we did that, then left the room.  He was ballistic!  He's used to having us come back in multiple times now.  So he screamed and hollered and waited.  If we'd have left it at that, he'd have been up screaming on and off all night.  So, I softened it by going back in once.  I took a timer with me and told him that I would stay with him for 5 more minutes, then the timer would beep.  When the timer beeps, mommy is going to leave your room and not come back until morning comes.  It is your job to stop crying and go to sleep when the timer beeps.  Well, I spent the 5 minutes trying to do anything that might be necessary...getting him a drink, blowing his nose, getting stuffed animals, etc.  Then it beeped and I left, to a very loud shrieking accompaniment.  I gritted my teeth and we watched a movie while he wailed and threw fits intermittently til 9:30, at which point he fell asleep.  Really, it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.

Tonight, he was pulling his stunts and stretching things out again.  We set him in the crib, said a few last warm fuzzies, and left the room.  He was incensed, as expected.  I took the timer in and repeated last night's explanation.  Between sniffs he said, 'Mommy, I need one more hug.'  I said sure.  Then he laid there and stared at me in a funny way.  I asked him what was wrong and he said, 'Mommy, it's going to beep.'  I said yes it will, do you want me to sing to you until it beeps?  He said, 'Mommy, make it beep!'  So I reset it to 1 minute and told him I would pat his head until it beeped.  When it did he looked very relieved, said goodnight and closed his eyes.  I left.  Not a sound more!  Success in 1 night!

Unfortunately, this is going to involve him getting really mad every night when we initially enforce the bedtime and leave prior to the return with the timer.  But I think it's really a good system since the tantrum is then short-lived.  I can't at the moment think of any way to do it where we don't get a tantrum at all, and this keeps us on schedule, which is important for him.  'They' always say kids crave limits and get stressed when things aren't clear-cut and consistent and in this matter that seems to definitely be the case!  It was so amazing how content he seems to have this game stopped, but he just couldn't be the one to stop it.  Bizarre psychology!

More charmin on aisle 7

Nearly a whole roll of paper down the toilet, extensive plunging, a new pair of underwear and a handful of wet wipes later, Owen is busting his buttons proud of his first solo performance in the bathroom :}  I was so proud of him I did not consider the side-effects of independence until after the fact.  Yikes!!

Yeah for Owen!

You give your preschooler a lot of praise.  Maybe a goodly chunk of it is not really deserved.  But Owen fully deserves a crown and a kingdom in my book for his pottying.  He is full time diaperless during the day, and I can't remember the last accident.  We've had more than a handful of successful outings, and he's even tolerating using non-familiar facilities while we're out and about.  This has been a really good lesson for me.  I always think that the strictest, toughest option must be the best.  (Growing up I always felt a little guilty every time I saw an Amish person because I felt so licentious next to them and figured they were living a more disciplined life and therefore were superior in some way...not that I thought they were 'right', but I still always had these feelings.)  But in the case of potty-training we surprisingly went the let-nature-take-its-course route.  We did a little bit of talking about it and encouraging the idea, but no ultimatums or pushing him when he was resisting.  It totally paid off!  If I had decided to lay down an ultimatum with Owen we would not be having as much success right now, I can 100% confirm that.  Gentle, positive, patient waiting for him to get on board was the way to go this time around.  I wish I could believe sleep would have been the same way and I should have chilled out more and he would have slept better on his own.  But on that one I think the tough road was necessary.  I mean, waiting for potty training means you change a few more diapers...big deal.  Waiting for improved sleep means everyone is in pain, and not getting enough sleep is unhealthy (I can attest to this...since Asher's sick and we have been answering him when he cries at night, we are ALL in pain right now.  4am wake up call this morning!).

Since I started this post a couple days ago...

Owen is hilarious today!  I bought him a potty seat insert for the grown-up toilet.  Because I'm getting tired of emptying the little potty.  I wrapped it up like a present and gave it to him at breakfast.  Bingo!  He loves it, and I think we're already done with the other one.  This afternoon he comes up to me and says, 'Mommy can I go pees and poops?'  Why yes Owen, you may!   Do you need some help?  'NO Mommy.  Mommy, go be BUSY!'  He disappears, shuts the door to the bathroom and 10 minutes later I wonder what's going on.  I go in and he is going to the bathroom.  He wants me OUT!  Now, he runs out of the bathroom about every 5 minutes with his pants around one ankle and says, 'Mommy, I can use dat potty all by myself!  Mommy, I'm a BIG boy' and runs back and sits some more.  Right now, he has been in there for about 10 minutes and it's rather aromatic in the vicinity (sorry, TMI...but this is a significant detail because he has been constipating himself for months because of not wanting to use a potty and having difficulty with the diaper for reasons I won't explain.)

When it clicks, it clicks.

He could wrangle just about any treat out of me right now...if only he knew ;)

While I wait...

...for the laundry to get done, I shall post.

The boys just cannot possibly get any cuter than they are right now.  I would like to stop the clocks right here, today (...well, how about next Saturday, the first day of my dad's final exodus from The Factory!).  Owen is one hilarious comment about the world after another.  Asher is grinning and giggling and the idea of crawling is just starting to occur to him, despite a nasty virus.  He is keeping me up all night and I can't stop going in to him just yet because he's wheezing rather badly and I don't think a lot of crying helps that.  But I would still be OK stopping the clocks.

We were in a whirlwind the last couple days.  I prepped and cleaned (a bit) for our small grp meeting here on Fri. night.  Today I baked several double batches of cookies for church tomorrow (Franklin Graham is speaking).  Owen and I went to Kmart to shop for 'kids who don't have much money and need things that we have in our house every day!'  It was excellent!  I am usually pretty cheap at the store...or at the least I torture myself about purchases.  But since we were buying to fill shoeboxes at church tomorrow for Franklin Graham's ministry to war/disaster/poverty-stricken kids, it was FUN to shop without restraint.  I let Owen pick out things he thought were really cool for the other kids (I thought that would be a hard thing for a 2.5 year old, but he did really well and got excited about it!).  The bill was larger than I anticipated, but so much smaller overall than what we routinely spend on ourselves.  Doing something like that makes me realize how much more I need to do it...it's just crazy how much we have.  I'm so glad Owen is getting a taste for giving through this project tomorrow.

Here's what's been going on a whole lot around here:

The child practically potty-trained himself!  He's been in undies all day, most of last week except for naps and nights.  The trip to Texas was magic.  He is so full of himself right now, it is fun to watch.  I think he's been in such a good mood because he feels so darn grown up.  I don't even have to set timers or remind him; he tells me he has to go!  There have been a couple accidents a couple days ago now, but only when he was really, really wrapped up in a toy or a video and just forgot to remember :)  Today he freaked out as he was settling down to his nap because he went in his diaper and wanted it changed...said it felt yucky.  So I guess he's really getting it.  Yes, now we need to move the potty to the bathroom because it's not really a living room habit.  But I was not going to fight progress, and that's where he wanted it.

Now comes the mystery to me.  How do people function with potty-trained kids??!  I have left the house exactly twice with the boy out of a diaper.  I am terrified.  Tomorrow we have to drive 30 minutes to church, and he sometimes goes twice in that window.  I have packed two changes of clothes for him, but the bigger problem is that he is very, very resistant to going on a big potty, not at home (can you blame him?).  He did it once because he had to, so that's how it will be, but it was not fun convincing him, and the bathroom was significantly dirtier when we left :}  The price of progress.  It's completely backward of normal that I was not all that eager to have this kid out of diapers, and then he goes and trains himself.  Go figure!  Maybe I should try feeding him dessert all day and he'll start asking for more vegetables.

Just heard the washer stop.  Off to fill the dryer, then sleep.  A little bit.

Will I really forget these someday?

Sitting otherwise silently in the backseat strapped into his carseat, gazing out the window, holding onto his cup of ice cream (bought for him because he kept his Bob the Builder's dry on his first trip away from home in them):
"I do SO love ice cream."

Last night as we rocked and chatted at bedtime:
Me:  Owen, you were a good big brother today.  You treated Asher very nicely and were a good helper.  Asher loves to watch you and learn from you.  You have an important job being a big brother!
Owen:  Mommy I want there to be another Asher in your tummy.
Me:  Asher's too big to go back there!
Owen:  There can be another baby not with Asher's name.
Me:  Oh, aNOTHER baby?
Owen:  yep.  Your tummy can be BIIIG again!
Me:  Well, not right now.  Did you know there used to be a baby in my tummy named Owen?
Owen:  Yep, and I swimmed and swimmed and swimmed around in there!  And then it was my birthday.  You get wheelbarrows on your birthday.

 Talking to himself in the crib as I type:
"Let's go outside.
We can make a snowman togedder Daddy!
Wow look at dat snow man you made!
Wow!
Dat is a big, big snowman!"

Home!

What a lot of memories to try to record.  We just got back from a 10 day trip to Paris, TX on Thursday.  I think this morning [Saturday] I woke up and my heart rate was normal again after the trip home.  I'm pretty good at rolling with the punches during travel (I credit excellent training from my parents), but I had underestimated the effects of sleep deprivation + waking the whole family extra early + crowded airport + weather delays + few opportunities to go to the bathroom + extra things to carry all day + the accumulated effect of two tired and one sick kids' crying and whining grating on my brain (most significant of all).  I was ready to commit crimes against myself or my family members by the time the car service pulled into the drive.  We woke at 4:30a CST in Paris, and we rolled up to the house around 7:15p EST.  By my calculations, that's nearly 14 hours on the road.

Let me urge myself and anyone reading to remember not to judge parents' abilities or their children's behavior based on any one encounter with them.  After the first flight we took, about 10 different people came up to me and sang the praises of our boys: 'Adorable!, So well-behaved!, Natural travelers!, The cutest baby I've ever seen!, They were so obedient and quiet!'  Fast forward a few hours, a two-hour delay later and nearing bedtime, after some nap-deprivation.  We were *that* family.  Asher screamed until he crashed in my arms, Owen whined the *entire* flight.  He kicked the seat in front of him, we chastised, he gloried in the negative attention and did it some more, he hit us, he pinched us, he cried, he said, 'OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT' about seven thousand times prior to deplaning.  Did I mention Owen was still recovering from a nasty virus of multi-day fever, croupy cough and possible ear infection?  We were hanging on by a thread ourselves after an early morning and barely had the energy to manage him.  Then, we got to drive home another 45 minutes, strapped in carseats!  Asher cried HARD the entire drive and wouldn't accept any soothing.  The poor driver said it would probably the best trip of his evening since he'd be ferrying drunk New Year's Eve partiers the rest of the night.

Well, we're pretty much recovered now, and it wasn't all that bad in hindsight.  A few more weeks to forget, and I'll be ready to try it again :)

We had a great time in Texas!  First we stayed a short while with the Galen Swints in Plano.  Owen was quite confused at the thought of Hannah having a new house, since we'd just visited them in Atlanta a few days prior to their move.  Having another visit so soon was great...he was very excited to see Hannah again and the new-person inhibitions were gone this time.  They played pretty well together and we had fun getting an evening's visit in with Galen and Melissa after the kids were abed.

Next morning we drove with Aunt Virginia to Paris.  What a fun visit!  It's always a whirlwind there...no way to recap it all!  But highlights for Owen included playing/visiting with the Kruse and Matthews cousins, watching Daddy hose down his 'kill' (a feral pig, yes indeed!), feeding cattle, seeing the new kitten Clover, playing with and giving cookies to Laddie the golden retriever, going for wagon rides, sleeping in a real bed (rather than a crib), picking up pecans, seeing the large local Christmas light display, more playing with toys, helping Mommo cook, visiting the meat-rendering shop, singing carols and playing piano with Mommo, opening lots of Christmas presents, and last but not least getting a fairly nasty virus.  Fever for a few days, horrible croupy cough, and eventually red enough ears to warrant antibiotics.  Not fun!  It also sadly prevented us from getting in a visit with the Edwards, who were much missed and recovering from illness themselves.  In the end, Reuel caught it a couple days before we left, and now that we're home Asher is a drippy, croupy baby.  I'm still well!  I'd trade with any of them if I could.

Thanks to everyone for the fun memories!!

Now that we're home, something truly shocking has happened.  It might have been the night we got home that I had a conversation with Reuel wondering together how we could kick things up a notch regarding potty training.  Owen was doing OK with a once a day potty visit simultaneously with Reuel before bath, but was majorly disagreeable to more than that.  Well, lo and behold yesterday he decides he wants to wear his Bob the Builder underwear, and boring-story-short, he is keeping them dry and going on the potty about 90% consistently by the end of the day.  Wow.

Today we did the same thing all morning, no accidents.  Now this afternoon I'm seeing the challenge...he doesn't want to get back in the underwear after the nap (diaper still absolutely necessary and nap and nighttime).  Same thing this morning, but somehow I talked him into it.  This will be a challenge if it's a struggle every day twice a day.  That, and he seems to have VERY small bladder capacity, so I'm terrified to even think about leaving the house with him :}  Well, we'll see how it goes the next few days.  I hate to backslide at all from this momentous, unexpected development since it has to happen sometime!

Speaking of, better go entice him into his Elmo's!
Pictures from Paris to follow soon.