Privilege

If you ever get the chance to spend two months living under the same roof as your parents again, as an adult, consider it a rare privilege and honor, and snap at the chance to do so.  My parents are convinced that they've been a burden, and interrupting our lifestyle, or something like that.  I don't know how else I could convince them that it is quite the opposite.  There is nothing like the comfort of family.  Even if we get on each others' nerves from time to time, the security of knowing that these people will always love me and want me around, and keep tolerating me quirk after quirk, failure after failure...it makes me want to love and honor them so much better than I do.  Owen pretty much never understands how much I love him, and how everything I do all day is with love (albeit sometimes in a pretty twisted way when I lose my patience).  I'm pretty sure I live in a lot of ignorance of what my parents have done for me too.  They are my first and probably biggest gift from God.  I am really going to miss them.  I'm so glad we're going to Texas tomorrow morning and saying goodbye first because watching them pull away from our house would be a lot harder :{  It's been so fun to enjoy/tolerate/be-completely-exhausted-by the kids together, share meals, sit and chat, and carry on the daily grind.  What a blessing to have company in this mothering journey for a too-brief while.  I think my Dad has gotten a new appreciation for what goes on in the homefront, and is probably really extra glad he's not a woman.  I would gladly give up this 2-month gift if it meant my Dad wouldn't have had to go through the yuck of cancer treatment.  But given the circumstances, I'm so grateful he has been here.

Now.  On the other hand, my Dad says that he is going to be leaving Boston so fast, a vacuum will form in his wake.  Can you blame a guy for being a little antsy for home??  I think they'll leave from his last radiation appointment and hit the road.  It will be a well-deserved homecoming!!

Mom, thanks for working like a SLAVE around here.  I feel like I've been on vacation and I probably used you sorely and you just kept giving.  Mother love is like that, I guess.  I hope you get to sleep for a week when you get home!

Dad, thanks for sharing life with us.  It has meant a lot, and I feel like we got more great time together than we probably ever have before.  Thank you for your company, for loving the kids (even when unlovable at times), for dollops of wisdom that often hit the spot, and for putting up so completely unselfishly with a lifestyle much more chaotic and poorly-groomed than you and Mom so excellently preserve on your own homefront!  Next time, we're coming to you ;)  We're praying for you and love you.

Miss you guys already.

addendum

Oh yes!  My Dad just reminded me of the story I couldn't remember!!  Excellent!

The day after mom took Owen to the circus I noticed he had these bright red spots on his cheeks.  I noticed them right after he woke up from his nap and I thought he was flushed from being really hot while he slept (...this boy will NOT put on a shortsleeved shirt.  He will NOT wear shorts.  He will NOT wear sandals.  He will ONLY use his heavy winter blanket.  I work on trying to transition him to a new season every day but he will not be moved.  Maybe a week in Texas coming up will break his wintry spirit.)  It turns out that my mom accidentally scrubbed cotton candy off of his pink-covered little mug with an antibacterial wipe, rather than just a normal baby wipe.  Maybe the oils got rubbed out of his skin and left him chafed.  Anyway.  Before we figured out what caused it I was talking to him at bedtime:

Me:  You have some red cheeks today!  Maybe you got a little too hot at naptime.  How about we try a short sleeved shirt tomorrow so you don't get so hot!
Owen:  You [I] don't LIKE up sleeves!  You only like DOWN sleeves.  ALL the way down to your hands!
Me:  But you were so sweaty when you were sleeping today!  I don't want you to get red skin.
Owen:  My cheeks are tight and red.  I am getting bigger and bigger!  My skin is too tight!  When I'm growing into a Daddy my skin is getting small and tight!  I'm getting to be a big Daddy!

That one got me to giggling and melted me at the same time.

Sunday comics

Well, when you get chemotherapy (or things like it), one of the side effects is an oh-so-lovely metallic taste in your mouth.  One of the suggested remedies is to suck on a butterscotch.  So, my Dad came home with a big bag of butterscotch a few weeks ago.  Thus began the slippery slope of addiction...for Owen.  Dad filled up his jacket pocket and it didn't take long before Owen knew that he could dig around in there and fish one out every afternoon as Grandpa left for the hospital.  You know what they say, once you get a taste for butterscotch, nothing else matters...you've got to have another and another.  Pretty soon all you're thinking about is butterscotch and the next time you'll be able to get one.  When your supplier is away, you start looking for a fix wherever you can find it.

The family was still mostly in the dark about Owen's little problem until Reuel caught him one day while he'd been playing outside, walking across the driveway with a large metal stake in hand; one of the fairly heavy metal posts that you can hang rabbit-proof fencing on.  He'd found it in the garage.  He was headed for Grandpa's car when Reuel stopped him.  It may have gone something like this:

Reuel:  Owen, what do you have there?
Owen:  It's a stick.
Reuel:  Where are you going with that?
Owen:  To Grandpa's car.
Reuel:  What....?
Owen:  I'm getting that butterscotch.
[Reuel and Owen go to Grandpa's car]
Owen:  There's that butterscotch.  Right there.

Down on the floor, way down between the seats, lay a lone butterscotch.  Owen had spied his target and was executing a quickly-hatched plan to do whatever it took to secure the prize for his sweet tooth.  I fear what might have happened to Grandpa's leather seats had it not been forthcoming on the first attempt.  We may have to find a local chapter of BA for the 3 and under crowd after Grandpa leaves (Butterscotchers Anonymous).

We've been having some fantastic results at bedtime now that we've made a 'Sleep Rules' poster for Owen, with a sticker chart incentive.  I made it on a big piece of blue foamboard, with decorated letters for Owen's name, lots of pictures in place of key words so Owen can 'read' it, appealing for a preschooler to look at.  It reads like this:

OWEN's Sleep Rules
1.  We read 1 book and 1 Bible story
2.  We have talking time and pray
3.  We rock and sing
4.  We get into the crib or bed and lay down
5.  Pat head and say goodnight
6.  We close eyes and go to sleep until Daddy says good morning!

Then, we have a chart for smiley stickers.  If Owen 'does' his rules, he gets a sticker in the morning.  7 stickers earns an ice cream cone.  Bonus sticker for taking a nap!  He really wants to do those rules and have that rock-steady routine...lots of security in that.  And, he has been SO much better behaved in the morning and greets Reuel happily (rather than with a tantrum...the previous state of affairs).  MANY fewer call-backs to his room and virtually no tantrums about getting in bed.  Highly recommend the poster!!

Well, of course it's not foolproof.  Tonight I had him to bed pretty early, but it had been a long day and he was tired.  It's pretty light out still at his bedtime so that makes it a little more challenging for him to settle down right away.  So tonight, for the first time in a while, he was whining quite a bit after I'd put him to bed and come downstairs.  After a while I went up to check in and make sure it wasn't a real problem.

Me:  Owen, what's going on?
Owen:  You [I] want some music.
[Mommy hesitates, but turns on music]
Owen: Fan, please.
[Mommy rolls eyes to herself, and walks over to turn on fan...side note: we use fans for white noise since Asher makes quite a racket in the early morning that would wake Owen.  Usually I turn on the fan after he's asleep, right before I tuck in.]
Me:  Alright, goodnight Owen.  I love you.  No more whining tonight or we don't get a sticker in the morning.
Owen:  Why is there no more whining?
Me:  Because it's bedtime and you need to go to sleep.
Owen:  Why is there no number for whining?
Me:  What do you mean?
Owen:  Why do my rules have no whining number?

:P

Owen and the Big Tent

Owen at 2 yrs, 11months:  going into his room upon hearing silence at naptime, but not the complete silence of actual sleep, I find his bed empty, but a curious motion of the wooden window blinds.  Then, the shape of his shadow behind them emerges.  He is balanced precariously, standing on the narrow sill (~2-3 feet off the ground), grasping the sides of the window frame, behind the blinds.  I say, 'NO SIR!' and he is so startled he nearly falls at the shock of having been found out...all the while saying, 'Why can't I, Mommy?  Why can't I do dat?'

Context:  Yesterday was a big day for him.  Train, then subway rides into the city to see the Big Apple Circus with Nunu.  He was impressed.  This morning when he woke up he told me ALL about the wonders he saw, especially Bello and Grandma the clowns, who were *not* scary, mommy (he had been worried about scary clowns ahead of time).  And, the cotton candy got an honorable mention. 

Do we think the scaling of the window is related to watching a whole lot of acrobatics the day before?  Or just the natural progression of preschool explorations?  I guess we'll never know.  I do know he was apparently so worn out that he actually accepted me rocking him to sleep today (something I never did for him, but now he will never, no never, independently lie down and go to sleep for a nap, no matter how tired).  Aaah, a break!  What am I going to do when my parents leave?  Not only the kids, but I have been spoiled by the extra hands around the house!!

Teeth

Just felt two little sharp ridges popping through the lower gum yesterday.  They don't seem to be bothering the little guy, other than he's got a little lower lip rash from all of the drooling.  Doesn't want to chew on things any extra, sleeping normally, all of that.  Same as Owen!  And identical timing as far as when the teeth are coming in!

Excess

I am in love with my sweet baby, what can I say.  He went for his first official haircut today (even though he's had several mommy-versions already) and he had so much fun!  I was expecting a protest, but he was perfect and flirted with the hairdresser and smiled and loved it.  I know most of these look alike (to everyone else) but I just can't pick which to post.  So you get to skip over them, or appreciate the particular cuteness of each one along with me! :)

Young Asher Swint Not So Young Anymore

In the past week...
Crawling
Master of going from belly to sitting position
Pulling up on low surfaces...like a lap.  'Stands' on his feet (even though he's not completely vertical, it is the basic pulling-up move).

Wow.  Life's about to get more energetic (as if it wasn't already).  I did a thorough sweeping of the hardwood last night as there were oh so many delectable dust bunnies to put in the mouth. 

Trike!

Asher has had quite a conversion over the last couple of months from being a *fairly* laid-back baby to, honestly, quite a fusser.  I attribute a lot of it to body-not-caught-up-with-mind syndrome.  The kid has been so ready to crawl, run and jump with his big brother, but his body hasn't quite worked it out yet.  He's been rocking on all 4's for months now.  He ooches backward, spins around, and throws himself forward by half a foot at a time (sometimes landing in a face-plant, which he doesn't enjoy), but he just hasn't coordinated crawling yet.  He's getting there, but slowly.

Well, I just had to steal my fabulous friend Isabelle's idea.  As an aside, she is Scotch, South African, and German...and is shortly moving to Tokyo.  If that's not the true definition of multicultural, what is!  She shared some pictures of her little Evie (just a bit older than Asher) on a trike, strapped in, and she seems to looooove it.  (Aside from a recent mishap which landed her in the hospital...umm, read about that literally 3 minutes after setting up the trike I bought for Asher.  She is fine now, praise the Lord, and I decided to press on.)  Asher has been getting a kick out of riding it, but I don't think quite as much as Evie does.  He likes it if he is riding toward Owen, then he's all giggles.  But if he's riding so that he can't see anyone directly, same response as a stroller...no thank you!  (Aren't kids supposed to like stroller rides?  Neither of mine have at this age.)

Well, they have been having fun.  Owen especially loves riding with anyone else, makes it much more fun than riding alone!  He is quite a speedy daredevil on his bike these days, enough that I get scared he will wipe out :}  But once we get the helmet on I can relax and he zips around.  He loves to crash into Asher on the trike!

What a gift!

Well, Aunt Karen sent us an interesting gift to play with!  Who knew that there are radio-control goodyear blimps and personal-size helium tanks for sale at amazon.com (what can't you buy at amazon?!).  Last weekend, we had some good family fun trying out the toy.  *Definitely* not something to be taken outside...it would be whipped away by a gust of a breeze.  I wonder how the real blimp navigates the skies?  The boys were pretty taken with it, and Owen and Asher thought it was pretty neat too!  Thanks, Aunt Karen!

haircut

[Some of the] Things I've learned this week:

1. Giving a super-energetic 8 month old a haircut is not that easy. The $17 I cheaped out of paying Snip-its to do the job probably would have been worth it. At least hair grows back! I cut off at least 1.5" in some spots! The first picture is pretty bad b/c I hadn't combed it after the cut. 2nd picture is more representative of the final product.

2. No, all the people who tell me starting my child in the nursery earlier would have helped with separation issues, you were not right. Asher, unlike his big bro Owen, started the mom-to-mom nursery at around 5 weeks old. Asher, as of about 7 months old, began to have as bad or even worse problems in the nursery than Owen. He lasts about 15 minutes before he is so fussy a worker has to try to distract him. All distraction techniques fail and by about 10 minutes after that they are forced to buzz my pager. He is hysterical and I can hear him before I even get downstairs. As soon as I retrieve him, he cheers up right away (although the heaving chest shudders take a while longer to subside). Well, there are just a few meetings left for the year, so at least we made it most of the way.

3. Never underestimate the power of sleep-deprivation to affect your child's behavior. Owen and I have really been at it with each other the past few weeks. Owen has virtually ceased all napping the last few weeks. It is very difficult to get Owen to bed early enough to compensate for lost naps and keep him rested. Boy does it show! He gets so defiant and intentionally naughty and cranky and volatile. I know the signs because I get that way myself when tired. The mom-to-mom speaker this morning (and mother of 6 kids) spoke straight to my soul and her talk must have been written with my week (and general experience) in mind. You think you adequately handle this job if you talk to the right people and read the right books, you don't find it *too* tough to be patient with your child, you think your love for your children is unquenchable. Then slowly, over months and years, with increasing complexity of life and needs, your own resources start to get sapped. You find that the seemingly bottomless reserves you started out with are not bottomless. You think a few nights' sleep or a good vacation will refresh your supplies, but a good night's sleep buys you about 15 minutes of patience first thing in the morning and then you're right back to sapped. You start becoming more irritable, more grouchy, more short, more explosive...and not the mom you *ever* planned to be. You are shocked that you act the way you sometimes do. Oh how I feel this lately, and I'm not yet at the end of year three of this lifelong journey. Answer: Allow God to teach me through this experience that I on my own will always fall short, that I am not enough, that He is the source of life. He is stripping away my self-reliance through the nitty-gritty of motherhood, and the things I really need I can't drum up...but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc. Practice the presence of God with habits of time and mind...the speaker's prayer was a deep breath and a constant, short, 'God, be _______ in me right now (patience, wisdom, etc.), and a pause, full of faith for the answer. The speaker had such an exact summation of my struggles that I had to record this for later reminders.

4. Deciding to night-wean Asher was tough, and doing it was tougher, at least the first night. It seemed to be time, because he started getting confused...staying awake and expecting nursing at other times of night if he woke (rather than just the one feeding we'd had consistently for a long time), and I think getting up at night is tiring both of us out, after 8 cumulative months of it. That feeding was not going away on it's own, and it would probably only get harder to get rid of once he's pulling up and smarter. Well, that was the reasoning at the start of the night, but after sending in Daddy to pick up, reassure, and sans feeding apparatus at 3am, and not getting back to sleep with fussing and crying til 4:45am, one's resolve starts to waver...he was more persistent than Owen!! But, night #2 involved only 2 brief 5-minute cries. Hopefully tonight he will just sleep on through, and not test to see if we were really serious :{

5. I love my family! I am so extraordinarily blessed.

Easter!

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.  1 Peter 1:3

After a family trip to Park St. on a beautiful Easter weekend, we enjoyed playing outdoors, a special meal, pictures and a little egg hunting.  A wonderful day!  Owen was completely disobedient all day with regard to eating his candy.  TOTALLY NAUGHTY!  We kept telling him he could only have, say, one egg before lunch, and I'd find him in the corner wolfing down chocolate!  Ooh boy.  It was hard, because something just doesn't feel right about time-outing the kid over and over about a gift he's not supposed to touch??  I think my Dad might have him on a constant sugar high due to butterscotch dispensation and he was trying to keep himself from crashing since my parents drove to Baltimore to visit Deb this weekend. (Just kiddin', Dad ;)  Anyway, I figured out why parents do egg hunts...what entertainment!  It was fun to watch him be 100% full-tilt excited about finding eggs around the yard.  "A YELLOW ONE!!!!  Daddy, aNOTHer yellow one!!!  And a GREEN ONE!!!  Wow, isn't this so neat, mommy???!"

Before I forget to record it...

1.  Owen 'read' his first word this week!  He has some videos called 'Meet the Sight Words' that he's watched a few times in the last couple of weeks.  Well, sometime this last week as I was reading to him at bedtime, he stopped me and started excitedly saying, "Mommy, Mommy!  That word is 'look'!  That word says 'look'!"  Indeed it did.  By chance, the word 'Owen' was right next to it (in his Owen the Mouse book).  He recognizes that word, and so we were able to read a two-word phrase and he was very excited.  Suddenly it clicked that what I say is associated with the words, and he ran his finger along under the sentences while repeating them from memory.  Very cool to watch the gears turn!  Then, he was finding words all over the place...but not completely correctly.  He'll point out any 'it' in sequence, say, in the middle of a word, and say, 'That's IT, Mommy!'  But he's definitely catching on!  At the end of our little session, he said, 'Mommy I don't want to learn more reading.' (Meaning behind statement:  I want you to read to me!)

2.  Owen has hit the 'why' stage.  I hear that question about 500 times a day.  About things he completely understands already too.  By reputation, you hear about this stage...it is ALL true.  Why?  Why?  Why?

Other cute conversation while tucking him in.  (Nunu had just said goodnight and was walking downstairs.)

O: Mommy, why is Nunu going downstairs?
Well, she has to get ready for bed and go to sleep. (White lie)
O: Does Grandpa have to go to sleep?
Yep
O:  Does Grandpa rock himself before he goes to bed?
I guess so.  Nobody else needs to rock Grandpa, he's a grown up guy.
O:  He doesn't have to have a kid on his lap?
Nope.  He can rock all by himself.

All said in such earnest desire to understand how the world works!

Owen with a red curly wig.  Didn't really work out as planned, ah well :}