Why

When I open the minivan door on Asher's side after having driven somewhere, he looks up at me now and says, "Why.  Why!  Whyyyy!"  Not-so-bright mommy didn't put it together right away...'til I realized that he says it only when he's taken his shoes and socks off...and that he is parroting back at me exactly what I often say to him upon finding him bare-footed (as I stand with my back in the thirty-degree wind redressing him), "WHYYYY?"

:)

Contrast and Compare

Here are two videos from the last couple weeks that stuck out to me as I was downloading some from the video camera today.  I think they provide a nice glimpse of the boys' unique personalities.  While Owen would like nothing better than to wake up tomorrow and find out he's 32, Asher would prefer to spend his time eating and laughing.  Not to say that Owen is Mr. Serious and Asher isn't striving for independence constantly; not at all.  They're both pretty balanced, really.  But these clips definitely illustrate their tendencies :)

Owen clip

Asher clip

Too long

I made this blog to record my kids' cutisms.  Owen is pretty much at peak production levels these days, and I am letting them all get by me.  He, on the other hand, has a fresh, new brain and forgets NOTHING.  NOTHING, I tell you.  He was telling me this morning about how he used to stand up in his crib when he was little if he had a dirty diaper and wait for me to come and change it.  That was well over a year ago now.  We're also at the stage where every tiny thing we say and how we say it gets picked up by his hypersensitive radar and repeated back at some point.  I often think I need more self-control about my tongue (being critical, complaining, harsh tone, sarcasm) and now I have a preschool police cop who I am aware is hanging on my ever word...got what I needed!  Anyway, back to the topic, I am in the mode where I avoid recording anything because I have forgotten so many fantastic exchanges that I can't do it perfectly, and therefore do it not at all.  That's sheer nonsense.  I must break that harmful thought cycle.

Me, noticing a hole in the sleeve of Owen's shirt cuff:  Owen, you have a hole in your shirt!
Owen:  Yeah Mommy, I did a giant bless-you there.
Me:  You sneezed?
Owen:  Yeah, it was SO big of a bless-you that it made a hole right there!

Mommy, I like the name you and Daddy picked for me.  Do you like your name?  My name is just right.

A brudder is your best friend in the WHOLE world.  I am Asher's brother and Asher is my brother and we love each other very much.  I am 3 and a half and Asher is 1 and a half and when I am 4, Asher will be 2, and then we will take showers together instead of baths and you will not need to help us.  We can wash each other's hair.

Owen: Mommy, don't leave me.  I want you to stay with me all night.
Me:  Here, I'll give Mr. Bear lots of hugs and kisses and then tuck him in next to you.
Owen: [chucking Mr. Bear off the bed] No Mommy!  Stuffed animals aren't the same as people!  Stay with me!
Me:  Owen, when you're a big daddy, you can find the just-right wife for you and sleep with her every night.
Owen:  It's OK.  You said when I'm a little older Asher and I can sleep in the same room.  Goodnight mommy.

Mommy, you made a whole dinner of GOOD foods.  I love EVERY THING in this dinner!  I love spaghetti, and I love corn on the cob, and I love celery, and I love peaches!  This is my favorite, favorite dinner!  Thank you, thank you mommy for this great dinner that has only good foods and no foods I don't like to eat!!

Mommy, I love you a million hundred miles into outer space so far that I love you more than a rocket ship can reach and way past where it can go.  I love you more than you love me! (The latter phrase is uttered routinely.  Owen is intent on winning all imagined love competitions.)

Owen loves to make packages and letters.  During his rest time (we're way past nap now, and rest time has evolved to you-can-do-what-you-want-so-long-as you-play-independently-and-leave-me-alone time), he routinely collects toys from around the house and wraps them up as gifts for various family members.  A few rolls of tape are small payment for the parenting break.  Also, he writes letters and seals them up in envelopes.  Recently he brought me a stack of letters.  He instructed me about whose name was to go on each letter (various cousins) and then instructed me to write this on the outside of each one:  "I'm going on a cruise ship ride when I'm 4.  You can open this letter on the airplane."  Indeed, we are going on a cruise with Reuel's extended family this summer and Owen is PSYCHED about it.  Perhaps the only competing even is his birthday, which he can also not get enough of talking about, and he adds something new every day to his birthday party wish-list...or should we call it a command-list  So far, he has landed on a beach party birthday theme, his cake will be in the shape of a lobster, we will eat real lobster too, we will decorate the house to look like the beach, we will have party hats that look like things at the beach, we will play instruments while listening to beach music, and we will play in the sandbox because it has sand like the beach.  Is your child by definition spoiled when he insists on eating lobster for his 4 yr birthday??  Admittedly, the real problem is that a while ago I thoughtlessly uttered something to the effect of, 'On your birthday, it's your special day and you get to decide what you want to do and what you like to eat!  You get to do whatever you like!'  Back to that whole he-doesn't-forget-a-thing-you-say problem :}

OK, poor Asher.  We are those parents.  I think we have 1/8 the pictures of Asher that we had of Owen by this time in his life.  So sad!  Asher has found his will, let's just say.  AND HOW!  The boy now knows what he wants and squeals/screams/fusses to try to secure it.  He is quite communicative, though not quite as good with words as Owen was at this age, yet we understand him more than we did Owen.  Once he gets what he wants, he's a little lark.  It can be a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde experience!  Especially if food is involved, watch out for the monster within.  Taking candy from this baby is not advisable.  The carseat is particularly reviled right now, and I find it mentally exhausting to even consider outings (which we do at least once/day, so I am always tired).  Strapping him in involves pushing his arched back down with all of my might, pinning him with my head while buckling (all the while he is clawing my hair) and then coldly walking away while he screams bloody murder for the first 3 minutes of the ride.  Then, in spite, he takes off both shoes and socks.  Every. Time. We. Drive.  Neither a whack on the rear nor a stern reprimand solves these problems.  I merely act as if I am unbothered (and I should get an Oscar for that, because oh, I am so bothered), and chant under my breath, "This too shall pass, this too shall pass."  And it shall!  I remember the same with elder brother.

To be fair, on his flip side, Asher is pure sugar.  This kid is a social animal, has never met a person who wasn't his friend (unless he is being left with them in a nursery, but he befriends after a few minutes), says hi to every person he passes, and bye-bye on the way out of any store to all the people coming in.  He runs over for hugs and cuddles, lights up and screams DADA!!! whenever Reuel appears, he melts on my shoulder routinely during the day, he lays sloppy ones on my cheeks and on Owen's, he plays with my hair and pats my back while he's hugging me.  This one is easy on so many levels.  Even the tantrums are sort of a known quantity with him.  They are fierce but short-lived, and he usually finds a way to settle himself down in short order.  He LOVES books, LOVES food (understatement; although he is a picky eater, he would like to be eating the foods he likes constantly while running around the house), learns extremely quickly from his brother, and is all in all a very smart little boy.  We're always amazed at what he's picking up on.

Asher's words:
Na-na (all done)
Heey (here, as in...take this!)
Beebee (baby)
Duck (stuck!)
Dough (down)
Uh! (up)
Whoa! (uttered perfectly, with perfect usage and vocal tones)
Whee! (same as above)
Yeeesssss (yes)
NO
Buh (book)
doos (juice)
doe (toe)
nose
eye
eeya (ear)
Haya (hair)
beep (said while putting his index finger on your nose)
beh (bellybutton)

The bathroom is nearly gutted and we're working on next steps, so off I go to be productive.  Take this entry, perfectionist memory-recording voice inside my head!

Bill

Our friend Bill passed away last night. We are relieved that his suffering is DONE. What a long journey, and we were so privileged to spend small group evenings with him, and enjoy glimpses of what a really incredible man he was. Contrary to what one might imagine of someone with his professional stature, he exuded humility and was utterly approachable. (We only knew Bill in the context of our small group, and I have a feeling we know only the tip of the iceberg of his long list of professional achievements and accolades; he was just Bill!) Perhaps my selfish favorite thing about Bill was that as we sat around our humble toddler-abused dining room table on Friday nights sharing supper and discussing C.S. Lewis, he routinely caught my eye and laughed at my jokes...I'm serious. Perhaps that makes his sense of humor a bit suspect, but it just made me feel special :) The night that his glass dessert plate spontaneously exploded into a thousand shards at the very moment he started opining about something was pretty funny too. We came up with a hypothesis that the cold air from the AC unit must have chilled the plate, and a rapid temperature change induced the explosion; the heat source being...hot air from Bill! He was the first to start belly laughing at the joke on him, and he was just that warmly humble kind of guy. It was really like medicine to have him come into my life almost exactly as I lost my Dad. Bill was dying when we met him, and watching him walk the road before him with faith and good humor...it filled in the pieces for me of the testimony I know my Dad would have wanted had he been around longer. I had a tangible picture of how I know my own Dad wanted to face his cancer and death, and tried to, in the short time he was aware of his prognosis. Sometimes I think it was easier to talk to Bill about death than my own Dad, too, so that only helped! The Lord puts us in each others lives on purpose.  Bill is an example of someone who lived and died well that we won't soon forget.

There is a lot out there about Bill, but here are a few links for anyone interested in reading about this wonderful man who will be dearly missed.  I really, really want to post the perfect picture that is up on a webpage about him.  But I don't want to steal it and I don't know if it's appropriate to repost it here; I think it belongs to his family.

His professional webpage:  http://www.law.harvard.edu/faculty/directory/index.html?id=95

From Christianity Today: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2009/august/34.44.html

An interview: http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/You-Will-Call-I-Will-Answer?offset=0&max=1

Video interview:  http://vimeo.com/2936218

Harvard celebration of his life: http://www.law.harvard.edu/news/spotlight/criminal-law/william-stuntz-celebration.html

A blog that Bill used to participate in: http://www.law.upenn.edu/blogs/dskeel/

Bill and my Dad were able to meet once at Mass. General's cancer center, where they were both being treated.  I'm sure Bill will have a long list of people to meet and reunite with where he is now, but since earthly status probably isn't quite the deal in heaven that it is down here, I hope he and my Dad get to spend some more time together while praising the Lord in person.

Schmidts

Our friends the Schmidts are on an exodus from Japan...attempted. They are trying to find a flight out. Please pray with us for them, parted from their wordly belongings, two small girls, and all that goes with upheaval...that they would make it out smoothly.

Help a girl out.

I bought the dumpster bag and we're ready to go on project redo-downstairs-bathroom. I was tired of pink and black before we even closed on this house and we've been living with the disgustingness of this monstrosity for almost 7 years now. It's not even well-done pink and black.


So, I love redoing our house, but I'm horrible at deciding on decor and general decision-making. I know what I don't like, but don't have a commanding understanding of design principles so things never turn out *quite* as amazing as I would hope. This time, I can't figure out the right combo of tile/wood/beadboard. And, I can't see how anything but neutral paint on top would look alright. What isn't working??

(These are done in google sketch-up...pretty fun tool for helping see what something might look like.)
OPTION 1: Tile shower + beadboard walls + wood floor

OK, I love this. I like the warmth of the wood floor (or might use a laminate...either way a 'rustic' floor, not a high gloss smooth wood). I like the beadboard, which we have in the rest of the downstairs. I like the classic look. But the tile seems out of place a little...? Every picture I see of white fixtures + beadboard + wood floor has a relatively plain white tile (or maybe a grey-veined marble) in the shower, and then a nice perky color on the wall. If I add in a light-but-beige-y tile in the shower, it seems like I'm mixing an old classic look with new modern tile. Also, nothing but a beige drawn from the tile seems to work on the walls (fyi, this is not the actual tile...it is laid like the actual tile, but the actual tiles are 3x6 subway tile size. the color effect is pretty close though.). For instance, try painting a nice blue or green:


YIKES!!! I don't know how to make any color but a color directly from the tile work unless I use stark white tile (which I would love to...but Reuel will not abide me complaining about cleaning white grout for the next however many years).

OPTION 2: Tile shower + beadboard walls + tile floor

Don't like it quite as well. I like the warmth of the wood. But a tile floor is less maintenance, and maybe it's easier to bring in a color if I'm not dealing with so many different materials. ???


OPTION 3: Tile shower + tile walls+tile floor
Finally, all tile. This is the most practical for cleaning beside a toilet that will be used by multiple boys in tight quarters. But I really hate the all-tile look. It reminds me of an institutional space.


OPTION 4: Tile shower + tile walls + wood floor


Please, please pick your favorite, tell me why, and tell me how I can paint anything but beige on top and have it look right. Also, tell me if I should just go for white subway tile (I LOVE IT.) I know these are such important decisions...NOT! All the more reason to help me out so I can move onto thinking about more productive things. One other detail...I've thought about putting in a stamped tin ceiling like in the rest of the downstairs, but think it might be too much with the tile having pattern too (Only if I went with white subway tile...tee hee).

Schmidts in Tokyo!

My friend Isabelle and her family are living in Tokyo and had quite the scare...her husband who works for VW was on the 40th floor during an 8.8 magnitude quake, can you imagine?? We're so glad that they are safe. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the many who aren't/weren't safe and there must be plenty of fear. Isabelle said it felt like being in a air-bounce house. Thinking of Isabelle, Michael, Josephine and Evie!!

In Christ Alone

This song has been in my head for a while, and it's a good one to get stuck on, while I think of our friend Bill, and my Dad especially. It is not only beautiful, but full of good truth to dwell on. My strongest memory of it is when Keith and Kristyn Getty (composer/singer) performed it at our church a couple of years ago. When Kristyn sang this, I just couldn't help but cry. I dislike crying in church, but it was non-negotiable that morning. I have no idea what questionable Christian TV channel this clip comes from, and wish there wasn't a distracting little logo on the screen, but it was the truest semblance of what I remember. Have a listen!



In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Internet

I feel like a secret agent. It is pretty crazy how much info you can get easily and quickly via the internet. OK, not *that* much info really, but still surprising. I was trying to search for foreclosure listings in a town we're keeping our eye on. I found a website that listed an active bankruptcy, but only gave some little bits of info and you have to sign up/pay to get the full listing. I went to another website and sleuthed around and matched the data I had with the missing data to narrow down to about 8 possible addresses (20 mins). I went to a bankruptcy lookup site and narrowed to one address (5 minutes). I checked out the house visually from a bird's eye view and a street view, and looked at the neighbor's houses (10 minutes). I then reverse address looked up the names of who lives there (1 minute). I then called a free automated bankruptcy court phone number and got info on the case (3 minutes). Uh-oh. I just added up those estimates, and I've been sitting here longer than that :}

What did this get me? First of all, the house is separated from a six-lane highway by 1-2 acres of forest, no fences. Not so good for letting little boys explore. Also, from what I understand (which isn't much in these matters), the owners had a bankruptcy filing in 1996 that was resolved in 1997. I'm guessing the house shows up as 'active' bankruptcy status because there's a lien on it. I don't think that means it's even available at all (hence, why it doesn't show up on normal property searches...I was just trying to see if there are additional properties that don't show up on web listings). Furthermore, it stinks to pay a realtor thousands and thousands of dollars when they probably don't do this kind of work for you anyway, and you can basically access the same info they can. Finally, I just wasted a nice chunk of my Friday evening doing nothing profitable, which shows just how far I'll go to potentially get a bargain. But it was kind of fun.

Awww.

Bedtime tonight...should I share it? Almost something to keep just inside, but I want to remember...

[cuddling right before climbing into bed]
Me: Owen, I love you so much. Thanks for being such a big boy and for being such a great big brother. I'm proud of you. I will always love you! There's nothing that will ever make me stop loving you.
Owen: I love you too Mommy.
Me: You know, there is only One that loves you more than Daddy and I do.
Owen: Who?
Me: It's God. He loves you even more than we do, and we love you more than any person in the whole world does. God loves people the most!
Owen: No...I love you and Daddy the same as God does! I love you as much as much as God does.
Me: Oh, I don't think so! God loves us the most and he loves you the most. No one can love more than God does. He loves us perfectly. I love you so, so much, but sometimes I make mistakes. Have I ever made a mistake?
Owen: Oh yes.
Me: Yes, I make lots of mistakes every day, so even though I love you lots and lots I don't love you perfectly. But God never makes a mistake, and he loves you perfectly, just right.
Owen: I make mistakes too Mommy.
Me: Well I forgive you and God forgives you and I love you.
Owen: I forgive you too. I love you.
[major cuddles]

Tissue, please!

On the downhill...we hope!

For all of you wonderful sympathetic friends and family (sympathy is almost as good as healing!)...
...Asher was fully himself today. Still speckled, but the hives mostly looked like they were on the wane rather than new and angry like yesterday. Some of the hive patches from yesterday were so severe that he was bruised this morning! He was happy today, and that was a major relief because...

...Owen had a very rough day. He threw up a couple times (3rd day!) and just laid around and was irritable and moaning most of the day. Poor guy. He tolerated apple flavor pedialyte a lot better than grape; wish I'd tried that earlier! He wanted supper even though he didn't eat much once I got some bland choices in front of him...but the presence of appetite was marked improvement, so I hope he's on the downhill of this!

...Reuel is better already and my cold seems to be letting up surprisingly early.

Hallelujah! Just a couple weeks back I was kind of in a rut of disgruntlement about feeling like all I ever do is run a hamster wheel...clean, cook, bath, bed, laundry, and repeat. My attitude has been checked and I am now ready to return with gratefulness to the ordinary. Ordinary is quite spectacular, really! Trials are a gift, recognized only in hindsight :) And I do know this wasn't the biggest trial in the world. I'm a complainer :P

I just so happened to remember that I had a little Playmobil set stowed away from Christmas...when we discovered there were a few too many purchases for Owen and held it back for a rainy day. Yay! The kids had a blast with the tiny pieces of a workshop set, pretending with the tools, setting up the workbench, and it really turned Owen's attitude around for a little while. After I don't know how many solid days in the house now, a little something new was awesome.

Thanks for thinking of and praying for us!

Day 3

Please forgive the play-by-play description of our sick days. Just skip this if you're a reader, and tired of hearing the details! I think I like to look back at what we go through and remember the realities...that, and the saying about women using 30,000 words a day and men 20,000; men using theirs up at work, and women not getting to start on their quota until hubby walks in the door...true in our house!! So sometimes instead of calling a girlfriend I like to write :) Esp. since Reuel walked in sick tonight too :P All 4 down for the count, though I'm still waiting for the intestinal delights.

Well, if I thought the last 2 days were rough, I was a real wimp. Today was worse by far. Asher had his energy back like a switch had flipped. He is past the vomiting, just the diaper blowouts and the hives now. Oh, the hives. I am going to put a picture or two at the end of the post but they are pretty nasty...fair warning. I recalled the ped. today and he said stay the course w/ Benadryl (which seemed to do NADA!) and see if it's better in 48 hrs. Asher was ANGRY, irritable, and itchy. He seemed even more crazy agitated and mad after a Benadryl dose (as opposed to sleepy) but I was afraid not to give it to him. So...rough day. Owen was still vomiting today, and just wanted to snuggle and rest like Asher did the last 2 days. Thus, the problem. Asher learned in 2 days of coddling that he got picked up, cuddled and treated like the prince while he was suffering, and he was not about to let his throne go to Owen today. Combined with his general discomfort, the now-energetic and demanding toddler spent the day screaming, throwing things and trying to claw Owen's eyes out every time Owen tried to sit in my lap. Owen, now lethargic, was being so patient and just waiting for me to deal with the problem at hand, but doubled over and moaning most of the day. Yikes! Well, they're in bed now and we're all alive...as long as it doesn't hit me overnight I can probably make it another day. All the way through Friday would do me in. How do you get help though? You can't exactly ask someone to come over and expose themselves to the plague. Tonight Reuel is lethargic and in bed, and there are 5 mountains of laundry which must be done, or else burned as toxic waste. Is my character stronger yet? Does complaining disqualify me from the character-development? :)

OK, here's the ugly pictures. So I remember what little man went through, and maybe someone reading will find it useful to learn what a hive network looks like.

OK, I am in a hurry, so the photoshop censoring is a bit rough :)

In the oatmeal bath

Yikes!!

p.s.

Nearly forgot...when Asher perked up, we needed to get some soup, gatorade, and bread.  It was nice just to get out and drive.  The grocery store was next to the dollar store, so I let the kids pick out a $1 present for their sick day.  Owen just couldn't decide what he wanted...too many choices.  I asked him if he wanted one of quite a few cool 'guns' that shot foam disks, or darts, that sort of thing.  His response:  "No Mommy.  Those shooting toys are not really nice and kind, and I want to be kind to other people and not think about things that would hurt people."  Wow.  The stomach flu as morality teacher?  Can't help but give your boy a hug when he's that kind of sweet!  But where did he get the idea that guns could hurt people in the first place?  Male instinct?

Uncle!

Uncle!  I am crying it!  Last night as I woke up periodically feeling my throat start to get sore...then sorer and sorer...and my nasal passages swelling shut...I thought, "Oh boy, tomorrow's not going to be a whole lot of fun with a sick Asher and now a sick me."  But when I woke to Owen's peculiarly piercing screams (that boy knows how to express displeasure!!) and found him ralphing on the upstairs carpet, well, that's when the I knew it was going to be a character-building day.  Nothing like two GI-sick kids to keep you from focusing on your own discomforts!

What happens when tiny, immature brains are exposed to insanely large amounts of television programming?  I'll let you know when the results are in on my experiment.  Asher laid on me like a limp noodle all day, and Owen did alright until I let him drink 2 oz. at once, at which point it multiplied into way more than 2 oz. on the floor.  Well, whatever, we made it through the day.  Asher actually turned a corner at about 4pm, kept food and liquid down, and then at 5, he was the fussiest curmudgeon I'd ever met.  He was absolutely hateful and mean and I had no idea how to put him at ease.  I noticed his ears were bright red and he was really rubbing them so I made a late Dr.'s appt. (after having canceled one 2 hrs prior when he turned the corner) and by the time we got there...hives.  His chin and eyes were covered in little hives.  By the time we left the office...lips like Angelina Jolie's (literally, like 3 times the normal size), eyes almost swelled shut, itchy tongue, arms, legs, neck, everything.  He was MISERABLE and screamed the whole way home.  Dr. H thinks it's hives that can come along w/ a virus, often just a day or two before recovering from the virus.  Benadryl was the only recommendation, unless he starts having trouble breathing (praise the Lord, it hasn't gotten to that!).  I am just so grateful and feel very watched over that I happened to have him in to the Dr. for what I thought was ear infection (though that seemed very strange).  I think we would have been panicky about the hives at home, not having been through those before, or wouldn't have caught them since he would have been in bed for the night by the time they came on.  Yikes!

His little lips are still puffed, and he doesn't look like himself!  Prayers for him that it's passed by morning.  2 days of this is enough, thank you!