The O & A & E Files: December 2014

True-to-my-memory conversation:

O: MOM I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!!
Me: Yeeesss?
O: You will NEVER believe it.
Me: Try me.
O: I figured out how to do something and I cannot even believe it. I made a sword and it was diamond and then I put EVERY enchantment on it that is possible. OK, well at least every enchantment you can get with an enchanting table. There are like 5 more but I don't know how to do those, but still it is SUPER enchanted and it is amazing. It has like 1,354 damage power. CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE THAT???
Me: Wow. [Mind began to wander on about word 3 of that paragraph]
O: Do you understand Mom? Do you know how much damage power that is? Usually it takes a lot of hits to kill a cow but I super-enchanted a sword and you can kill a cow with ONE HIT. And you don't just kill it, because the sword has the throw back enchantment and the cow gets launched back when you hit it. And then it burns up in fire!! [Laughs with glee!]
Me: Oh, wow. [Attempts to care about what child cares about for good of relationship. Hard work.] Why do you kill cows anyway? Why can't you just play without killing them?
O: MOM, of course, you get leather and meat from them. But with a super-enchanted sword the meat you get is COOKED MEAT!!! That is so cool. And usually you get one to two leather from a cow. But with this special sword you get zero to four leather!! [Pause. Switch to serious tone.] Mom. If you had to pick between getting definitely one or two leather, or zero to four leather which would you get?
Me: [What am I making for supper tonight? How can I go grocery shopping constantly and never feel like I have something to make for supper?]
O: MOM!
Me: [I am a highly educated maid. A robot maid. I walk around all day picking up after people. It feels like nearly all I do. And try to train these children to pick up after themselves, which doesn't seem to stick. If real robot maids came on the market and I could afford one, would I get one? Would it ruin the already declining character of the average human being to never have to pick up after themselves? Or would it just allow me to have a better attitude? I mean, I don't choose to use a washboard to scrub my clothes even though I would have better tricep tone if I did. Where is that line between using conveniences and being lazy? I have to decide this before robot maids come on the market because right now, I want one.]
O: MOM! That is so hard to decide isn't it? I mean you could KNOW you'll get two or three pieces of leather, or you MIGHT get four, but you might get zero. WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Me: Oh buddy, I don't know, that's a hard decision.
O: But mom, WHICH would you choose, you have to answer!!
Me: Oh I see, a bird in the hand or two in the bush.
O: What???
Me: I think I would just keep the cow.
O: NO!!!! You're not answering my question.
Me: I guess that enchanted sword is pretty cool and I would take a risk to get 4 leather just so I'd get to use it, because I figured out how to make it and that's pretty exciting.
O: Yeah, me too.

We're all asking the same questions, eh?