You have never heard a child scream so much as when he found out we were making an impromptu office visit to the pediatrician on account of a puffy, red, pus-covered eye that developed in about 2 hours flat today. He screamed through the drive there, through the anticipation of the appointment, the appointment itself, and then promptly snapped into the most chipper, cordial mood as soon as it was 'over'. He proceeded to thank the care provider, 'Fank you, Mrs. Joey!' and start chatting it up about going to the doctor and getting medicine. I could really have done without the drama, the physical restraining of one child while dealing with a little one who does not enjoy being confined to a stroller in any way, and most of all, the pink eye! Now, to stop it in it's tracks before any more of us acquire it. Owen's eye looked pretty horrific...I will pass, thanks!!!
Leaving for Cape Cod on Sunday! It was supposed to be a trip with my Dad. Quite sad to go without him...
Owen asks questions now and then...'Is Gwampa well now? Is Gwampa coming to the beach?' A pile of Dad's clothes are still laying in the porch. I don't have the stomach yet to take them to Goodwill...links to him that take me back to such a short time ago that he was right there staying with us and wearing those things. Anyway, Owen asks me about them sometimes. 'Mommy, why didn't Gwampa take his boots to heaven?' I give the best answer I can. Today we were driving and Owen must have been thinking on the bits and pieces of conversation we've had: 'Mommy, I am going to go to heaven and visit Gwampa in his heaven house and God will give me new clothes to wear!'
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Sleeping babes
Couldn't resist peeking in on my sweeties before retiring tonight, and am entirely overwhelmed, humbled, joyed to look at them in their beds. There is a miniscule, yet fully unique and lovable little being lying there totally at peace in the middle of his giant crib. He looks like a little marshmallow man in his footie pajamas and short arms and legs sticking out from his puffball belly. Edible!!! And Owen now in a big-boy bed making me catch my breath to consider that three years have just flown by in a big hurry. Wasn't I just struggling to learn how to nurse and nap him a few breaths ago? Now he tells me everyday about what he's going to do when he's a 'big daddy!' To look at them asleep is such a gift...hard sometimes to find a moment quiet enough in the day to reflect on the incredible-ness of them, and nice to have all the time in the world to study them and love them while they sleep away. The feeling must be familiar, but rather indescribable...sort of like the inner surge of spirit when a piece of music transports...a glimpse of the divine. And I'm brought to my knees to consider this wholly undeserved privilege of being their mom. Lord, hear our prayers for grace in our flawed parenting, and for wisdom, and for confidence while remembering that you love them even more than we do!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Naptime pep talk
Well, I did not manage to wrestle Owen into a much-needed nap today. I was too tired myself! But I managed to be successful in confining him to the bed for the duration of his naptime. That is, if perching on the tiny rail of a toddler bed and jumping down onto the mattress repeatedly can be considered 'in' the bed. (Instead of doing chores like I really need to be, I am quite entertained by the video feed.) Here's a condensation of a lengthy monologue from a few minutes ago (in a very chipper tone):
Don't touch dat!
No, no, no!
Don't do dat!
Dat's a no!
No, no!
Doing bad fings, doing good fings!
Don't disobey mommy!
Dat's a bad fing to do!
No, no, no!
Try to obey!
Time out!
Disobeying is not obeying!
Can you tell what there's been a lot of around here lately? Mostly revolving around brother-interaction angst :} He's actually been doing a little better lately, and it's been a combo of more consistent calm teaching/consequences and less anger from me. It stinks that I can let myself get soooo angry and in a rut of frustration with him that only exacerbates his naughtiness. But on the other hand I have to say he can really delight in setting himself up as an adversary. No doubt more self-controlled mommying could alleviate this tendency, but once pushed past my patience limit it is hard to find a road out!!! Better to expect less and get in fights less? Or expect what seems appropriate and have more battles that don't always seem to help? Do I care too much?! I really like being a mom, but it is not an easy job, at least around here :)
Don't touch dat!
No, no, no!
Don't do dat!
Dat's a no!
No, no!
Doing bad fings, doing good fings!
Don't disobey mommy!
Dat's a bad fing to do!
No, no, no!
Try to obey!
Time out!
Disobeying is not obeying!
Can you tell what there's been a lot of around here lately? Mostly revolving around brother-interaction angst :} He's actually been doing a little better lately, and it's been a combo of more consistent calm teaching/consequences and less anger from me. It stinks that I can let myself get soooo angry and in a rut of frustration with him that only exacerbates his naughtiness. But on the other hand I have to say he can really delight in setting himself up as an adversary. No doubt more self-controlled mommying could alleviate this tendency, but once pushed past my patience limit it is hard to find a road out!!! Better to expect less and get in fights less? Or expect what seems appropriate and have more battles that don't always seem to help? Do I care too much?! I really like being a mom, but it is not an easy job, at least around here :)
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Speech
For about the last week, I've been telling Reuel very sheepishly that I *thiiiink* Asher might be saying his first words. But then my better judgment would kick in and I was pretty sure I was just imagining it. Today, it was absolutely undeniable!! I can confidently say he's said his first words. What a surprise! He is so completely physical and active, and you know what 'they' say...more physical boys often put speech on the back-burner for a while. Also, I hear that 2nd boys don't speak very soon. Well, Asher beat Owen! Owen's first word was right at a year, and Asher's is now just shy of 11 months. (Of course, maybe I know what I'm looking for a little better this time.) Enough prelude...after I picked Asher up from his high chair and he put his right arm up in the air, waved his little hand, looked me in the eye and very clearly said, 'Ah-duh!' That's half of the sign language for 'all done'. And those are exactly the sounds I've been suspecting he's been working on. Now, something's a bit fishy. Aren't two-syllable and two-word sounds not until around 2yrs?! I wonder if this is really speech, or just pure mimicry (what's the difference at this age?). Anyway, I'm 100% sure that's what he said. So we'll see if it's a one-sound wonder, or if he keeps at it with other words too.
Asher's brain must be doing a little development-explosion this week. He is CRAZY!! He is into absolutely everything, pulling down anything he can touch, crawling around unstoppably, I can barely physically pin him down to change his diaper (the last one's nothing new, but it's especially bad this week). He will not stay seated in the bath, is pulling up trying to stand up, then slipping, I'm trying to hold him and wash him and he's sliding all over the place and flailing because he wants to stand up. Today in the bath with Owen, Asher got his first experience of a bubble bath. He was so intrigued by this weird stuff that he just kept bending forward at the waist and sticking his whole face into the bubbles/water and coming up covered. Owen was in stitches and kept saying, 'Asher, you have a bubble beard!' Asher spent the whole bath dipping his face, I was shocked he didn't suck water into his nose. He has gotten quite a sense of humor and Owen's daily antics also get him belly-giggling all the time. Owen and Asher reminded me of Deb and I once this week because they both got laughing so hard they could hardly stop and were panting after their little laughing attack. One of the things that gets him going is holding a penny-whistle type toy and putting it into Owen's mouth to blow it. Then mine, then daddy's. He really gets the giggles over that. Also this week Asher is balancing on his feet a lot before dropping down to his rear. I think maybe all of the week's excitement might be prelude to some first steps. We'll see!
Asher's brain must be doing a little development-explosion this week. He is CRAZY!! He is into absolutely everything, pulling down anything he can touch, crawling around unstoppably, I can barely physically pin him down to change his diaper (the last one's nothing new, but it's especially bad this week). He will not stay seated in the bath, is pulling up trying to stand up, then slipping, I'm trying to hold him and wash him and he's sliding all over the place and flailing because he wants to stand up. Today in the bath with Owen, Asher got his first experience of a bubble bath. He was so intrigued by this weird stuff that he just kept bending forward at the waist and sticking his whole face into the bubbles/water and coming up covered. Owen was in stitches and kept saying, 'Asher, you have a bubble beard!' Asher spent the whole bath dipping his face, I was shocked he didn't suck water into his nose. He has gotten quite a sense of humor and Owen's daily antics also get him belly-giggling all the time. Owen and Asher reminded me of Deb and I once this week because they both got laughing so hard they could hardly stop and were panting after their little laughing attack. One of the things that gets him going is holding a penny-whistle type toy and putting it into Owen's mouth to blow it. Then mine, then daddy's. He really gets the giggles over that. Also this week Asher is balancing on his feet a lot before dropping down to his rear. I think maybe all of the week's excitement might be prelude to some first steps. We'll see!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
update
Oh, where to start?!
Asher:
Crazy man! Loud, fast, physical and very social! I'm not sure he's a baby anymore! He crawls like lightning, pulls up on everything, stands by himself for a few seconds at a time, and giggles and squeals with delight if he can 'run around' with other kids. He thinks he's one of the big boys and will crawl around with a group of much older boys running around, squealing and yelling just like they are. He doesn't have the foggiest notion that he's not quite one of them :) He LOVES to eat. He LOVES Owen. He LOVES the little farm animals that Mrs. Anna from church gave him. If he spies one, he will crawl full blast toward it, secure it in his grip and not let go until it is taken away (which often produces a mini-tantrum). He doesn't even let it go when you put food in front of him...he'll just eat with the other hand. Now that's saying something, because Asher has quite an appetite. He never really stops eating, I just cut him off eventually. His absolute favorite food right now is watermelon. I have taken to not giving him any til the end of a meal, otherwise he'll throw a fit to ask for more and not eat anything else on his plate. Blueberries and cherries are close seconds. He also eats everything else well, all veggies, lots of meats. Summer squash is preferred floured and fried to just sauteed :) A Chipotle burrito really hit the spot for him on Father's Day. The only thing he's spit out so far is edamame...too crunchy. He doesn't eat any purees anymore, just a lot of messy self-feeding. He's a great chewer, like his brother before him. He has slimmed out quite a bit compared to previously, but he is still pretty hefty. Considering how much exercise he gets, it's no wonder his portions are usually bigger than mine or Owen's. Nurses 4x per day. Sleeps 2 naps, ~9 and 1 or 9:30 and 1:30 (on a good day ~1.25hr each), usually asleep by 6:30. Up at 5:45. The naps are getting to not be as easy...he'll stay up and play a lot. But he's definitely not ready for just one nap yet. One thing that is so different (and that I love) about Asher is that when it's a sleep time, I hold him on my shoulder and sing Twinkle, Twinkle and as soon as he hears the song he lays his head down on my shoulder and rests there. Owen on the other hand would start *screeching* and arching his back at the same moment. It is a welcome departure from those memories :) Asher followed Reuel up the stairs last week without Reuel realizing it (he left him in the living room and went up to tend to Owen). I was emailing and that's exactly what it sounded like was happening. But instead of checking on the situation I said to myself, 'Well, I know Reuel wouldn't leave Asher unattended downstairs unless he put up the baby gate on his way up, so it must be that he took Asher up with him and I'm hearing things funny because there's a monitor on.' Or something like that. Nope! That was a close call, because while Asher can get up the stairs by himself he often stops and nearly topples backwards while he's looking around. Must have been that since he was chasing Reuel he kept his mind on his target and climbed up safely. Asher really loves being held upside down, it's a little game he plays with me. If I'm sitting on the floor he'll crawl over and press his forehead onto my lap. That's the signal for me to grab him around the tum and flip him upside down, with his back to me. He grins and giggles. I put him down and he presses and presses the forehead until I do it again. And repeat! He has two lower teeth, and two teeth are through the gum on top...but not the two centers! One center, and the one to the side of it. That will look sort of funny! Asher LOVES the stuffed animated pig that my Dad bought for the boys. It is his carseat toy. Rather than cry when he gets in the carseat, if I give him the pig and turn it on he is just mesmerized by it snoring and flicking its ear. He will hold it for the whole car trip. He is very sweet to all the members of the family, Daddy and Owen included. Love, cuddles and kisses for all (Asher kisses us by holding his mouth open and putting the whole slobbery thing on a cheek...leaves his mark). I thought Asher would be much different than Owen about mommy-clinginess and separation anxiety, but no. He auto-wails every time he's set down unless I sit down with him. I figured out that if I sit down with him and then put him on the floor, he won't cry, and then sometimes I can sneak away to actually go to the bathroom or wash a dish. But he is nearly as needy as Owen was. Don't get it!! I feel like a captive. I would just go with it and carry him around in a pack, but he's not happy with that...wants to be playing. He just wants me playing with him At All Times. Tiring!! I challenge it, but also like Owen, that doesn't curb it much. The pediatrician says this is the effect of breastfeeding. Really?
Asher and Owen:
Can you say sibling rivalry?? Ouch! It's very real. I spend most of the day policing older brother and preventing younger brother from inadvertently provoking older brother. Sometimes I think the neural pathway in my brain that fires when I say, 'Time Out! It is not appropriate to ______ your brother! Go sit on the stairs!' may become so well-worn that I will give a time out to an adult when frustrated, without thinking. Some days it is nothing but sweet affection between those two, and some days I really think if Asher ended up unconscious and injured on the floor Owen would react with smug satisfaction, it can be that bad. It seems apparent that there really is a natural drive to wrestle. I am a girl with only a sister. It is all so completely weird to me!
Owen:
Wow! 3 is as new, fun and frustrating as 1 and 2 were. We are having great times together, and awful ones. Discipline is a constant topic of conversation between Reuel and I. We don't feel we have the handle on Owen that will be best for him in life. We're working on it, but he's still tough for us to figure, just like always! Spankings are no magic cure...many times they set his teeth ever harder. (One wonders if the spanking wasn't hard enough...nope, that's not it!) Other things, like separating him from us, are effective, but we need to get a lock for his door to really enforce it as consistently as is needed. Does this sound awful? Well, sometimes it is. On the other hand, this kid is awesome. He is so amazing verbal and the thoughts and ideas that come out of him on a daily basis...well, I feel that I have a companion in a 3 year old in some ways! We talk about everything and he asks about EVERYTHING. He's at the stage of reminding me how things work and what to do and not to do in the house...send the police and arrest me if I do something out of routine!! He still loves his bike, going to the park, reading books, all the normal stuff. Loves cooking with me. LOVES any 'project' that's new. Loves cleaning with me and will still wrestle me for the vacuum. Still runs for his earmuffs anytime something is loud :) Suddenly, to our surprise, he is a social creature. Instead of the previous, NO, NO, NO! when told friends are coming, he waits by the door and asks me every 3 microseconds if they're here yet. He loves going to playdates and seeing kids and friends at church. What a welcome development! He plays fairly well with other kids in terms of sharing (for the most part), which tells me he knows what he's doing with Asher. He is a very bossy playmate (surprise!). He is so eager for his friends to have fun that he tries to force them to do what he considers fun. We're working on that :) It is cute though. So many other fun Owen details that I have missed lately. We were trying to teach social graces for a while. Now, he asks about 15 times a day, 'Mommy, how was your day?' It is his default sentence. He gets very excited if he gets Asher to do a sign, or gets him to come over to him, or do anything he says...that puts him on cloud nine. He's a running, jumping, climbing maniac...typical boy. He can help himself with almost any of our normal house tasks, but actually asks permission most of the time...which I find shocking, but awesome! Eating, pretty good. Light on vegetables. Sleeping, often naps 2 hrs now, and to bed 7-8pm. Also awesome. He does SO much better with a good nap. Crazy that it took til after 3 to get there. At 2.5 he wasn't napping AT ALL! Now, 2 hrs. All a matter of will on his part.
Well, this was a hasty stream of consciousness and a lot of nuts and bolts for my memory. More actual interesting anecdotes another time!
Asher:
Crazy man! Loud, fast, physical and very social! I'm not sure he's a baby anymore! He crawls like lightning, pulls up on everything, stands by himself for a few seconds at a time, and giggles and squeals with delight if he can 'run around' with other kids. He thinks he's one of the big boys and will crawl around with a group of much older boys running around, squealing and yelling just like they are. He doesn't have the foggiest notion that he's not quite one of them :) He LOVES to eat. He LOVES Owen. He LOVES the little farm animals that Mrs. Anna from church gave him. If he spies one, he will crawl full blast toward it, secure it in his grip and not let go until it is taken away (which often produces a mini-tantrum). He doesn't even let it go when you put food in front of him...he'll just eat with the other hand. Now that's saying something, because Asher has quite an appetite. He never really stops eating, I just cut him off eventually. His absolute favorite food right now is watermelon. I have taken to not giving him any til the end of a meal, otherwise he'll throw a fit to ask for more and not eat anything else on his plate. Blueberries and cherries are close seconds. He also eats everything else well, all veggies, lots of meats. Summer squash is preferred floured and fried to just sauteed :) A Chipotle burrito really hit the spot for him on Father's Day. The only thing he's spit out so far is edamame...too crunchy. He doesn't eat any purees anymore, just a lot of messy self-feeding. He's a great chewer, like his brother before him. He has slimmed out quite a bit compared to previously, but he is still pretty hefty. Considering how much exercise he gets, it's no wonder his portions are usually bigger than mine or Owen's. Nurses 4x per day. Sleeps 2 naps, ~9 and 1 or 9:30 and 1:30 (on a good day ~1.25hr each), usually asleep by 6:30. Up at 5:45. The naps are getting to not be as easy...he'll stay up and play a lot. But he's definitely not ready for just one nap yet. One thing that is so different (and that I love) about Asher is that when it's a sleep time, I hold him on my shoulder and sing Twinkle, Twinkle and as soon as he hears the song he lays his head down on my shoulder and rests there. Owen on the other hand would start *screeching* and arching his back at the same moment. It is a welcome departure from those memories :) Asher followed Reuel up the stairs last week without Reuel realizing it (he left him in the living room and went up to tend to Owen). I was emailing and that's exactly what it sounded like was happening. But instead of checking on the situation I said to myself, 'Well, I know Reuel wouldn't leave Asher unattended downstairs unless he put up the baby gate on his way up, so it must be that he took Asher up with him and I'm hearing things funny because there's a monitor on.' Or something like that. Nope! That was a close call, because while Asher can get up the stairs by himself he often stops and nearly topples backwards while he's looking around. Must have been that since he was chasing Reuel he kept his mind on his target and climbed up safely. Asher really loves being held upside down, it's a little game he plays with me. If I'm sitting on the floor he'll crawl over and press his forehead onto my lap. That's the signal for me to grab him around the tum and flip him upside down, with his back to me. He grins and giggles. I put him down and he presses and presses the forehead until I do it again. And repeat! He has two lower teeth, and two teeth are through the gum on top...but not the two centers! One center, and the one to the side of it. That will look sort of funny! Asher LOVES the stuffed animated pig that my Dad bought for the boys. It is his carseat toy. Rather than cry when he gets in the carseat, if I give him the pig and turn it on he is just mesmerized by it snoring and flicking its ear. He will hold it for the whole car trip. He is very sweet to all the members of the family, Daddy and Owen included. Love, cuddles and kisses for all (Asher kisses us by holding his mouth open and putting the whole slobbery thing on a cheek...leaves his mark). I thought Asher would be much different than Owen about mommy-clinginess and separation anxiety, but no. He auto-wails every time he's set down unless I sit down with him. I figured out that if I sit down with him and then put him on the floor, he won't cry, and then sometimes I can sneak away to actually go to the bathroom or wash a dish. But he is nearly as needy as Owen was. Don't get it!! I feel like a captive. I would just go with it and carry him around in a pack, but he's not happy with that...wants to be playing. He just wants me playing with him At All Times. Tiring!! I challenge it, but also like Owen, that doesn't curb it much. The pediatrician says this is the effect of breastfeeding. Really?
Asher and Owen:
Can you say sibling rivalry?? Ouch! It's very real. I spend most of the day policing older brother and preventing younger brother from inadvertently provoking older brother. Sometimes I think the neural pathway in my brain that fires when I say, 'Time Out! It is not appropriate to ______ your brother! Go sit on the stairs!' may become so well-worn that I will give a time out to an adult when frustrated, without thinking. Some days it is nothing but sweet affection between those two, and some days I really think if Asher ended up unconscious and injured on the floor Owen would react with smug satisfaction, it can be that bad. It seems apparent that there really is a natural drive to wrestle. I am a girl with only a sister. It is all so completely weird to me!
Owen:
Wow! 3 is as new, fun and frustrating as 1 and 2 were. We are having great times together, and awful ones. Discipline is a constant topic of conversation between Reuel and I. We don't feel we have the handle on Owen that will be best for him in life. We're working on it, but he's still tough for us to figure, just like always! Spankings are no magic cure...many times they set his teeth ever harder. (One wonders if the spanking wasn't hard enough...nope, that's not it!) Other things, like separating him from us, are effective, but we need to get a lock for his door to really enforce it as consistently as is needed. Does this sound awful? Well, sometimes it is. On the other hand, this kid is awesome. He is so amazing verbal and the thoughts and ideas that come out of him on a daily basis...well, I feel that I have a companion in a 3 year old in some ways! We talk about everything and he asks about EVERYTHING. He's at the stage of reminding me how things work and what to do and not to do in the house...send the police and arrest me if I do something out of routine!! He still loves his bike, going to the park, reading books, all the normal stuff. Loves cooking with me. LOVES any 'project' that's new. Loves cleaning with me and will still wrestle me for the vacuum. Still runs for his earmuffs anytime something is loud :) Suddenly, to our surprise, he is a social creature. Instead of the previous, NO, NO, NO! when told friends are coming, he waits by the door and asks me every 3 microseconds if they're here yet. He loves going to playdates and seeing kids and friends at church. What a welcome development! He plays fairly well with other kids in terms of sharing (for the most part), which tells me he knows what he's doing with Asher. He is a very bossy playmate (surprise!). He is so eager for his friends to have fun that he tries to force them to do what he considers fun. We're working on that :) It is cute though. So many other fun Owen details that I have missed lately. We were trying to teach social graces for a while. Now, he asks about 15 times a day, 'Mommy, how was your day?' It is his default sentence. He gets very excited if he gets Asher to do a sign, or gets him to come over to him, or do anything he says...that puts him on cloud nine. He's a running, jumping, climbing maniac...typical boy. He can help himself with almost any of our normal house tasks, but actually asks permission most of the time...which I find shocking, but awesome! Eating, pretty good. Light on vegetables. Sleeping, often naps 2 hrs now, and to bed 7-8pm. Also awesome. He does SO much better with a good nap. Crazy that it took til after 3 to get there. At 2.5 he wasn't napping AT ALL! Now, 2 hrs. All a matter of will on his part.
Well, this was a hasty stream of consciousness and a lot of nuts and bolts for my memory. More actual interesting anecdotes another time!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Ants
Owen, the same child who shrieks in terror if a butterfly flies within 5 feet of him, is now obsessed with ants. We routinely have big black carpenter ants scouting around our house in the summer (they don't like the poison, surprise!). Today I saw him skittering all over the kitchen and could not figure out what he was up to until he ran up to me with an ant trapped between thumb and forefinger. I masked my revulsion and said, 'Wow!' Owen said, 'Mommy, I catched this ant! He was running all around and I chased him and catched him! He likes me. I love him and he loves me and this ant is my friend! Mommy, what is his name? My friend is being very, very, still Mommy. He's not wiggling at all.' Oh dear, I was sure he had squished the ant thoroughly and I was wondering how he was going to react to figuring that out. But the ant perked up and escaped and Owen was just devastated that his friend had gone away. I finally convinced him that ants are very busy with jobs they need to do, and also maybe he needed to go home to take a nap. When Owen woke from his own nap today his first question was, 'Where is my ant? Is he waking up from his nap too? Let's go find him!' We were out of luck for a while, but eventually he spied another one and said, 'There's my friend! He's awake! Let's go get him!' and managed to grab him. I don't know how he does it...takes some fine motor skills! A few minutes later he came up and said that he put his ant down because the ant bit his thumb. Silly me kept trying to convince him that ants don't bite. No really, Owen, they can't bite! Well, there it was, a welt on his thumb and I was proved an idiot. He was completely unperturbed by it, though. I don't think it must have hurt too much. But we've decided that maybe picking up ants isn't the best thing.
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