Last week we went to Maine to spend a couple days with my wonderful friend from grad school and her family, all staying at her parents' summer cottage on Barker Pond. We've been there before numerous times, but it was especially fun now that Owen enjoyed every moment between playing with her kids and...wait for it...a MOTORBOAT and a CANOE!! This was high excitement. Owen could not stop talking about watercraft for days on end. "Mommy, I am going to buy a motorboat. Are there motorboats at stores?" My friend tells me that her 4 year old still won't go in it, and her 6 yr old is just recently a fan. Owen, by contrast, could not get enough of it, and grinned over the 'big bumps' that I have to confess I was afraid would throw him out of the boat...this was a pretty small inflatable boat, maybe 4 people max. Of course, *her children* actually like to swim. Owen hasn't quite figured out that swimming is fun. He much prefers to say, 'Mommy, I want to go swimming! Yes, I'm coming! Just a minute, I have to find my goggles! Mommy, now where are my flippers? Oh no! My ring is getting flat!' and he literally spends the entire swimming session on the dock or poolside fiddling with all his favorite swim gear, and swims for about 60 seconds. Of course, it may be a New England problem. I think he really doesn't love the cold water, and he gets cold very easily (like his Daddy). Maybe Asher will have my constitution and enjoy a brisk dunking. Frog hunting was the other big activity. Anyway, it was a very fun couple of days. Except for that little matter of sleeping...did I mention I got <4hrs the night we spent there? It went something like this:
12am Head to bed after staying up WAAAAY too late having most enjoyable conversation with close friend
12:30am Finally get to sleep after winding down after being up too late
1:15am Owen (sharing my bed, overtired from going to bed too late) wakes screaming, I hush quickly to prevent Asher waking since he's in the same room as well, Owen goes back to sleep quickly
3:15am Owen (sharing my bed, overtired from going to bed too late) wakes screaming. Much conflict, chaos and sleeplessness ensue in an attempt to keep Owen from waking everyone, and also to get him to go back to sleep.
4:45am Owen returns to sleep, so do I.
5:45am Asher wakes screaming for the day (having gone to bed too late the night before)
Well, let's just say that I felt nauseous, had a pounding headache, and would have gladly put earplugs in my ears and let Asher cry a while that morning if I could have!! But in a tiny cottage with a bunch of people (including Owen) trying to get some rest, His Crankiness had to be instantly picked up. Furthermore, on a noiseless, perfectly peaceful Maine morning, with other inhabitants in not-too-far-away cottages, we could not even sit in the yard and play without disturbing the peace (Asher is a loud baby...more on that to come). So, we holed up in the front seat of the car until everyone else was up...about 2 hrs later. After the first hour, I felt less close to dead, and we got out and took a walk and peeked at the neighbor's horses, looked for critters in the woods, etc. All in all, a great trip!! But the sleeping arrangements do place a seed of fear for family camp next week...we'll be at Camp Laurel in Readfield, Maine, all in a one room cabin for 4 nights!! Well, at least I've learned my lesson about staying up late, and Reuel will be along to help this time. On a side note, you know you're going camping in Maine when a veteran camper from previous trips tells you to pack long underwear, blankets and fleece pjs for the kids, possibly a space heater because the nights are 'chilly' in late August!!
With Niklas, Teo, Anneli and Sasha the dog:
You have to kiss a few frogs?
Bucket o' frogs:
OK, so the new territory. In the last 2 weeks, Asher has gone from being a loud and fairly demanding little guy to throwing TANTRUMS, and how!!! It's really very interesting. I remember I always found it so confusing at this stage with Owen. People would talk about manipulative tantrums and just waiting them out, ignoring them. Well, that never made sense, because Owen's were not manipulative as such...more born of being emotionally overwhelmed, not knowing how to calm himself, etc, and I felt as though ignoring him didn't help...just made him more insecure and crazy. Well Asher is a different beast! It will be clear as day what he wants (or didn't get), and he will shriek, wail and create a ruckus unrivaled by Owen, and then be able to shut it off like it's on a switch. The other day, he got mad that I walked away from him and I sat down on the floor 15 feet away and held out my arms and said, 'Come here, sweetie!' Well, that was not good enough. He dropped to his belly, laid his head on the floor and screeeeeched, kicked and hit the floor with his fists. He'd look up at me, and continue. As Reuel and I sat there, mouths agape, taking this in, he finally gave up, flipped the whole act off, got up and crawled past me. I expected him to crawl up to me, but I got snubbed! He paid back my refusal to satisfy his desire by taking a wide path around me and looking up at me as he passed with a, 'Fine, I didn't need you anyway.' Then, he went over to Owen and started playing with him quite happily. :O
Well, this tantrum business has gotten out of hand in the last week. I know he is testing out this new behavior...he knows 'No' very well (in fact, shakes his head back and forth when you say it!), and sometimes when he's starting in on screaming about something, I just keep saying 'No!' firmly, and he actually stops cold and smiles. When he doesn't quit, I haven't given in to his demand. But on the other hand, it's hard for it not to appear that he's won sometimes. For instance, he's throwing them over diaper changes. I insist that he not roll around, etc. and do my best to wait til he's calmed a bit before letting him up. But of course he doesn't always quit, and sometimes he's still screaming when I'm done, and it doesn't seem like he'll eventually calm down at all, so what can I do but let him go. So, there are some times like that. We spend a lot of the day with a screamy baby, now at stores and in public all the time too, so it's draining to say the least. Not sure how to handle it exactly. The hardest part is that he screams bloody murder CONSTANTLY at home unless he is being held, or I am on the floor with him. I mean, he won't even be content playing with toys on the floor while I do something in the room...wants me on his level, incapacitated for grown-up work. That's not new territory...been there with Owen! I remember that let up a bit around 18 months, so I'm doing my best to compromise between making him cry all day, and giving him some devoted time too. Not easy.
That's our current big challenge. Between the tantrums are uncountable adorable moments too. The friendship between the boys is growing so beautifully...plenty of scrapping, but so much love, hugs and kisses, affectionate wrestles, sharing, thoughtful acts. Watching the two of them light each other up with giggles, tickling each other, in the backseat of the car together...LOVE IT!!! Owen is getting quite bossy and also protective and nurturing...gets Asher food he thinks he should have, picks out clothes and books for him, tells him the rules and how life works. Asher gets SO excited to spend time with Owen...still full body wiggles and giggles if Owen comes in and gets him after a nap (whereas I get crying...!).
I need to log more specific stories...keep missing jotting notes to myself. This morning, Owen was watching a Barney movie while I showered and got a few chores done. He came out of the office and said, 'Mommy, I need to stop the movie. My brain is turning into jello." (I usually tell him, 'Owen, we need to stop watching movies! Too many movies turn your brain into jello!') Owen is BIG time into jumping. He is jumping up and down, on things, off of things. I think he has jumped off of about a 4 ft. platform onto the ground at the park regularly now. He is very thrilled to increase his height and see my eyes widen in fear as he jumps. So far, he handles it OK, but I think he's at his max. He is very into made-up stories right now. Someday maybe I'll record a few favorites: Babalada the sheep who lived at Farmer Dave's, Lolly the Lobster and his trip to Paris, TX, and the story of Flibberty the fastest fish in the ocean, and Josie, the only fisherwoman who ever caught him!
Asher is *so close* to walking. He reguarly crosses the room before dropping to a crawl. He's at that edibly wobbly stage...barely holding on with each step, but making it. If I say, 'Walkies, Asher!' he grins and stands up and walks to me. Very cute!
Cutie pie
When 2 boys get hold of a giant box of cheese balls...yikes!
How many will fit in here?
Mmm, likes mama's pasta!
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1 comment:
Ooh, glad Chris didn't see that box at Sam's. We got one that size full of animal crackers. Good luck with the tantrums!
lsm
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