But mom...

About 100 times a day...
"Owen, this is not a playground or a gym.  You may not jump/climb/throw _________.  Houses and things in houses are delicate and can break.  Also, your body can break.  Please do not do that again!"

Today:  Hanging off of the stone mantlepiece of the brick-fronted fireplace by fingers and doing a sort of pullup.
Me: Owen, the house is not a gym.  Please don't do that here.  Save hanging and swinging for the playground.
Owen:  But Mo-ohhhhm, in the Three Little Pigs the pig has a house built of bricks and it is so strong it doesn't break.  This is all made of bricks and it doesn't wiggle at all or break.  It is not delicate!
Me:  Well, you're right about that.  But because bricks are so strong and hard, that means your body would break easily if you fell and bumped yourself on them.
Owen:  But look Mom, I can touch my toes while I hang from this shelf so it's not reeeeally dangerous.
Me:  [pause.  Sometimes trying to do better than the phrase, 'Because I said so' takes so much mental energy]
Well, it's just not an appropriate way to use the house.  I know it's fun, but it's not really polite.
Owen:  Pffffffffffffffffffffffbt.  [Sits down.  Sighs loudly.]

And herein is one of my problems.  I have let the boys do a lot of energetic things around the house because I basically have the same thought process as Owen...is it really a big deal when it's not furniture I care much about (let's face it, we still have a lot of college and grad school stuff around here I'd be happy to see break!) and it's not really a high risk for injury?  I've tended to let them do a lot, but lately, I have two hooligans on my hands who are inclined to climb the shelves at the library and hop up on the table at preschool orientation.  They're actually worse in public places than they are at home, because all they see is a new selection of interesting gym equipment when we're somewhere different.  So, I've started reigning things in at home, but if there's not an adequately engaging replacement activity, it just leads to restless, moody, disgruntled little males.  Maybe it's time to invest in a swingset.  But you know that after about 3 days, the swingset will look boring...not to mention covered in snow for half the year.  I just signed Owen up for gymnastics again, but that's one hour per week.  Jumping and general cavorting happen during all awake hours around here.  Got a couple of live ones!!