the day

Well, never fear, Asher is rolling like a log again.  Well, like a log that can roll really well in one direction anyway...back to belly.  It was ugly, but now it's OK.  He started rolling when I put him down for naps, and hated it but couldn't roll back.  I flipped him a couple times, but that would keep him from going to sleep, and he would just flip again anyway.  Yikes!!  One hour of NASTY HARD crying later, he finally fell asleep.  I did NOT want to do that, but there didn't seem to be any other option.  Now, he flips instantly when I put him down and seems to prefer sleeping that way...go figure.

Now, when I say 'sleeping' I don't really mean it.  Because if I ever thought Owen was a horrible napper, I hadn't seen how much worse it could be.  I may not be able to have a third child on the possibility it could get worse than Asher.  I am getting three 30 minute naps right now.  Oh yeah, he now self-soothes to sleep, I leave him for a while when he wakes, no bad habits, none of that.  Decent timing on the naps.  Just no long ones.  They were longer a few weeks ago, but he got overtired when we came back home from Thanksgiving and I stopped pulling him in bed in the morning (which wasn't working all that well for either of us, but he was sleeping a wee bit more), he was up earlier and this induced the shorter naps.  3x30 may not sound so bad, but he so clearly needs more.  He is exhausted, he is cranky, he is just recently not wanting to be put down (new behavior for him), he is up more at night.  I started nursing again in the morning and it's not helping now.  I am so sad.  Between Asher and then Owen only napping every 3rd or 4th day, I come close to exploding into tiny shards of Amy scattered all around the house.  I need to stop caring about it, but it's hard because to me it's like knowing he's not getting enough to eat and not being able to do anything about it...not easy to watch.  I would really like to know why I have had such a struggle with this issue on my parenting journey.  Somehow knowing the reason would make it more bearable...I think.  On the flip side, hey, they don't nap much...there's time to do the grocery shopping.

Owen has gotten short-shrift (is that a real word, or just one in my head?) on mommy-time lately.  The boy just wants to 'Play with me, Mommy!' all day.  I need to stop brushing him away so much and actually give him some devoted playtime.  But I'm tired and I don't like doing the things he does.  I guess this is where the rubber meets the road with the stay-at-home mom thing.  Pre-Asher we got out of the house a ton and were able to have awesome time together doing new things all the time that we could both enjoy.  Now we are a lot more housebound, bored and chafing at the bit.  And annoying each other.  He is such a wonderful kid, I hate that he's bored and understimulated so much and watching too many videos because that's the only thing he'll do independently.  Monday we depart for Christmas in Texas, so at least he'll get a big burst of activity soon! 

I should be in bed.  When Deb sees the time stamp on this post I'm a gonna be in trubba.  I'm punchy.