Costco

We got a Costco membership voucher recently at minimal cost through one of those social shopping websites.  Today some other plans fell through, and it is school vacation week, so the three kids and I packed up with great enthusiasm to make the 20 minute drive to New Hampshire (amazing how easy it is to propagandize a shopping trip to children just by making it in a different state!) to visit Costco for the first time.  The boys thoroughly enjoyed watching the 5,000-inch TV screens near the registration desk which were showing speed-skating (excitement still high!).  After getting my photo snapped and signing all the papers, we made it through approximately 3 aisles before I heard, "Wait, this is boring!"  I promised them that only *some* of it was boring, and that soon we would get to the aisle with cookies in boxes as big as their little sister!  They were indeed excited about that (not that I let them buy any, mwa-ha-ha!).  After they discovered food samples, all was well, until we were about 2/3 of the way through the store.  Then I looked in my basket and panicked.

Me:  Guys, we have got to get out of here soon!  I'm afraid this trip is going to cost us $500 if I keep looking around!!
Owen:   [eyes wide!  then, eyes scanning] Mom.  I see the checkout, follow me!
Me:  Thanks Owen!

I didn't *really* intend to stop shopping at that moment...mostly, but you know there's always that last look on the way out.  So, I turn down one more aisle.

Owen:  Mom, that's the wrong way!
Me:  Oh, I just want to go down this one last aisle and then we'll head out.
Owen:  Well, OK, but you can't buy anything.
Me:  [picks something up]
Owen:  Mom, don't buy that!  We have to go!
Asher: [joining in]  Mom stop looking at all this stuff!
Me:  You're right, let's go! [this is getting fun]  Oh, wow, 50 bars of soap!!
Owen: [agitation increasing] NO!  Mom, you're getting distracted!!!
Asher:  There's the checkout Mom!
Me:  Oh yeah [turns head]...but, but...LOOK AT ALL THESE SOCKS!!!!
Owen:  MOM.  LOOK AT ME.  We are going to the checkout, now start walking.
Me:  Yes, let's walk.  Full speed ahead!  GUYS.  LOOK at this HUGE jar of JELLY BEANS!!
Owen:  NOOOOOOOO!!!!  No way Mom!!  Do you want to spend $500???
Asher:  [nearly visible idea bulb in air over head]  [whispers in Owen's ear...and Asher whispers are always stage whispers]  Owen, maybe we could let her buy the jelly beans...
Owen:  No way!!

And that right there is my 2 kiddos in a nutshell!!!!  Owen was very pleased to discover that we had only accumulated $120 worth of goods.  I was still choking on that number, but we all know it is pretty easy to walk out of those places with more damage than that.  And compared to what you get at Whole Foods for that price, we did pretty well, thanks to my little watchdogs (one of which *really* likes jelly bellies).